Release Stress and Feel Grounded - Transcripts

January 16, 2023

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In this episode, I share two lessons from Happy Days that will help you get back into your body, learn how to get grounded, release anxiety and stress, and feel more connected in the moment. When you’re connected to your body, you are inspired. You...


The following podcast is a dear media production. Hi there, Gabby here. This podcast is intended to educate, inspire, and support you on your personal journey towards inner peace. I'm not a psychologist or a medical doctor and do not offer any professional health or medical advice. If you are suffering from a psychological or medical condition, please seek help from a qualified health professional. So we're two weeks right now into 2023, two weeks in and I'm not sure if you knew this, but it's kind of a startling statistic. That's kind of sad. And I want to just totally bust through it today. But 80% of people fall off their New Year's resolutions after two weeks. And that's a bummer to me. So I want to help you out. I want to be here to support you.

I want to give you something that will keep you connected to your intentions, keep you committed to your spiritual practice, continue to help you raise your vibration this new year. I'm going to give you two free meditations. These are two of my favorite manifesting meditations, totally yours, just a gift from me. I want you to be able to stay consistent on your journey. And this is my way of being able to help you. So head over to forward slash free meditations. And again, that's forward slash free meditations. If you need a little New Year, New You reboot and you're two weeks in, this is your moment to just reignite. I always say it's not about how perfect a spiritual student you are. It's really about how quickly you come back. So if you're feeling it like, oh, I fell off, come back now, come back now. Just go to forward slash free meditations and enjoy my two free meditations for manifesting.

Hey there, welcome to Dear Gabby. I'm your host Gabby Bernstein. And if you landed here, it is absolutely no accident. It means that you're ready to feel good and manifest a life beyond your wildest dreams. Let's get started. Welcome back to Dear Gabby. Welcome back, welcome back. Today is a fun show because we decided to open to a random page in my book, Happy Days. Anyone who's live here watching this recording can testify to the fact that I randomly opened to a page. I opened to page 168 in Happy Days. And this is on the chapter, freeing what's frozen. What I open to is practices for getting grounded in your body.

One of the things that I have noticed most in my practice as a spiritual teacher, as the host of this show, as a teacher in the world, and a human out in the world caring for people, is how disembodied so many of us are. And I can only recognize it so much now because I have become more embodied in my body as I've started to recover from trauma. In Happy Days, the guided path from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace, I talk about how frozen we become when we are traumatized, how we leave our body, how we dissociate, how we become fragmented, how we disconnect, and our inability to be present. And in this particular chapter of Happy Days, I talk about freeing what's frozen. So freeing the frozen parts of us from a somatic experience. And in this chapter, I share some powerful somatic experiencing trauma practices for getting grounded back in your body. Somatic experiencing is a trauma-based therapy founded by Peter Levine, and he is a profound teacher in helping us let our body reveal what needs to be let go, letting our body be the guide. So for today's show, let's get back into our body. And here are two of the lessons that I wanna share, page 168 and 169 of Happy Days. These are two lessons that will help you get back into your body, get grounded, release anxiety and stress, feel more connected in the moment. Here's your first lesson. Relax your tongue.

A technique that helps your body relax is to allow your tongue to soften and relax onto the floor of your mouth. Try that right now, everybody listening. Relax your tongue. You'll notice that your breathing immediately becomes more gentle. When you notice that change in breath, say out loud to yourself, I'm alive and I can breathe. I love this practice and I use it often. The moment I let my tongue soften, I automatically take a deep breath, feel my jaw relax, and become more connected to my body and my emotions. If you're driving, relax your tongue. If you're in a meeting, relax your tongue. If you're in the middle of a fight with your spouse, Relax your tongue. If you're having trouble falling asleep, relax your tongue. Your breathing will become more gentle.

That change in your breath brings you back into your body and that affirmation, I am alive and I can breathe, affirms that you are indeed connected to this body. And it gets you back from that place of dissociation and back into your body. That was my riff on it. Here's the second step that I'll share with you. This is on page 169 from Happy Days. Chant, I'm laughing a little bit because I'm not doing exactly right. Chanting in any form can facilitate an inner sense of peace. When you open up to chant or sing and create a resonance in the lower belly, you stimulate your vagus nerve, which is responsible for regulating internal organ functions such as digestion, heart rate, and respiratory rate, which provides a signal to shut down an overstimulated nervous system. The vibration of chanting stimulates your vagus nerve and making a voo, I'll do it properly for you, a voo sound, enlivens the viscera, your gut. The breathwork helps you get centered in the present moment and a full expiration of that breath produces a feeling of balance. When the vagus nerve is stimulated, your body gets the message that it's safe to relax, de-stress, release anxiety, and change your mood. Do this practice in privacy so you don't limit your ability to fully embody the voo chant.

Definitely wanna acknowledge that the more space you have to do this fully, the better you'll experience it. So here's how you do it. You sit comfortably and you inhale slowly. Pause momentarily. On the out breath, make an extended voo sound, sustaining the sound throughout the entire exhalation. Vibrate the sound as if it were coming from your belly and focus on the belly. Give yourself permission to make this sound a full belly expression. So it's gonna sound like this. When you keep letting it go, you keep letting it go. And you let it go all the way to the end of the breath. At the end of the breath, pause briefly. Then allow the next breath to slowly fill your belly and chest again.

When the in breath feels complete, pause and then make that voo sound again on the exhale until that feels complete. So you're breathing in fully into completion and you're exhaling fully on the vu until it feels complete. It's important to let the sound and breath expire fully before pausing. Let the next inhale come naturally. Don't force it. And repeat this for several times and then rest. Focus your attention on your body, primarily on your abdomen, waiting and allowing your body to naturally adjust to the shift in your nervous system. So just to recap, you're breathing in fully and completely, slowly. You're pausing momentarily, exhaling with the vu, full belly chant of that vu breath all the way out the belly, the full expression of the breath. At the end of the breath, pause again briefly and allow that next breath to come in naturally, filling your belly and your chest. And then on the exhale, vu all the way out again, pause. Take a full breath in, pause, vu all the way out and pause.

And do that several times. Do that several times until you start to feel that release. Let the vu chant stimulate the vagus nerve, allow that full belly expression of energy move through you and give yourself an opportunity to really, really feel that grace. Wow, that was meant to come through. That was meant to come through everybody. Definitely meant to come through. So let's bring in some guests, Sam, and talk about how this practice, these two practices can support people in getting back into their body. How we can get back into our body, free what's frozen, and start to feel more connected to our physical sensations, to our somatic experience. Let's take a quick break for one of our sponsors. If you're a listener of this show, you know that I have a major, major commitment to my gut health. So many people are silently suffering with GI issues and there are solutions, there are serious solutions. Some solutions you find on this podcast like breathing and meditating.

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Hi honey, how are you? Good, how are you doing? Great, thank you. Good thank you for holding the space for us. My desire right now is to start a family and to get pregnant with my husband. So doing that and learning how to surrender while also not doing all the things and preparation and getting rid of those anxious feelings that come up in the body when something doesn't happen the way it's going

and just learning practices for that is what I'm working on. Perfect timing, baby, perfect timing. Because I can give you all the practical steps and I can talk to you about everything from IVF to spiritual surrender. But the one thing I wanna really drive home right now is that to be a vessel through which human life is created, one must be connected to their body and in energetic peace and dwelling in a feeling of grace and connectedness. These two practices that I've given you are absolutely divinely planted in your conception journey. What I want for you to do is multiple times throughout the day, notice when you're anxious, whether it's about conception or not, just ground your body with that relaxing your tongue. Just relax your tongue. Notice your breath shift. Notice your energy change. Relax your tongue. Three times throughout the day, find yourself into at least one minute of vu chanting. Get back into your body.

Feel the resonance of your belly. Hello, connect to your belly. There's so many women out there wanting to conceive. I'm raising my hand because this was me and we were running around like chickens with our heads cut off, totally disembodied, totally trying to make it happen, force it to be and I know that and I can say that without shaming any woman because I know the exact experience of trying to conceive and how overwhelming and anxiety-ridden it can feel. But the way to bring it in is to get grounded and that grounding force helps us energetically cultivate what's necessary but it also opens up our intuition and our intuition can help us hear the creative possibilities for conception. Be guided to the vacation or the doctor or the adoption or whatever is necessary for that child to enter into our world with that soul contract that we have signed with that soul. So if you're in your head, you're missing the miracle and if you're in your heart and your belly and your body and you're relaxing the vagus nerve and you're letting that full-body resonance come through you. You're opening up this infinite capacity to receive, receive, receive, receive the embryo, receive the idea, receive the guidance, whatever that form it comes in. So use these two practices, my love. There's no better advice I could give you today

than this, it's excellent. Thank you so much. I've definitely been way in my head about this and your guidance will really help and help me get into my body more. So thank you so much.

I'm gonna send you Happy Days. Okay. Okay. I want this book to be a book to guide you to undo any feelings of disbelief, any historical stuff that might need to be cleared. And often our babies are waiting for us to do our work. They're like, mama, you have a little bit more to work on. I'll come when I'm ready. I come when I feel safe. Okay. So trust that. Trust that, my love. Thank you.

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful. Thank you, sweetheart.

Hi. I am a manifesto. This did not happen. You have no idea how confident I was. Like I have been walking along in a parallel universe with you and been desperate to connect with you but felt like you were just too out of reach. And like, if I send you a message, it's never gonna get to you. You're never gonna get there. But I know that you can relate based on a blog post from I believe it was September, 2018. I am now suffering with the SIBO that is hanging with me.

And that's just- I'm proud of you for saying the SIBO, not my SIBO condition, because we don't wanna own it. Beautiful. And for anyone who doesn't know what SIBO is, SIBO is Small Intestinal Bacterial- Overgrowth. Overgrowth, yeah. I'm not even gonna put negativity towards it. It is something you can heal. So I will work on this with you. My belief system is that SIBO is a stress condition. Agreed. And I'm, yes, can you catch bacteria from what you're eating and things? Of course, but it's a stress condition. That's what I believe is the root cause condition of SIBO.

Let's talk about it.

So where are you at right now? Beautiful.

Oh no, I'm not planning- And for anyone for growth? So basically, you know how the allopathic Western model of medicine knows one way and one way only. And if you're lucky, you find one who's open-minded to a more integrative approach, but it sometimes is needle in a haystack. I haven't found the doctor to treat it.

I've been on two rounds of zycaxin. Okay, write this name down. Okay. Call Dr. C at Spark Health, okay? Dr. C can give you the plan. She can put you back on the meds. She can give you the diet. She can give you the exact steps that you need to take physically to kill the bugs, the supplements. She will use modern medicine. She's gonna clear it and then dye it to keep it off. But none of that's gonna work. If you don't, create a zero stress tolerance.

I know it. The only way I was able to cure the SIBO and not have it come back, knock on all the freaking wood in this house, was by no longer tolerating stress in my life. Create and know it. Stress is the culprit. Are you aware of what happened to you emotionally in the past that is causing you this emotional discomfort

and stress that's causing physical pain today? Yes, I am. It's both physical and emotional. I suffered a C-section gone wrong. Thankfully, I have a healthy child at the end of the day, but it absolutely ravaged my body. And with intestinal perforation, I do know what it feels like to fill up

with not just leaky bowels, but air crushing my diaphragm. So fascinating right now. So God bless you, you had a traumatic birth. I'm gonna hold you with a lot of love and compassion for that. I am sorry that was your experience for all the mamas out there who had trauma at birth. You got your beautiful child, but you also are holding on to a little bit of the remnants of that experience and it's showing up in SIBO today. So my advice to you is to not only call Dr. C and take care of this from the medical side and the supplements and the food and the antibiotics and everything that you need to do there to heal the SIBO, but I want you to address the root cause condition

of this gut inflammation, which is the trauma of your birth.

It's showing up, addressing that, here are your resources, baby, here you go. I could highly recommend EMDR therapy. I move into sensitization and reprocessing for reprocessing that trauma. Because unfortunately what's happening is you're reliving it every day. You're reliving it with the SIBO. You're reliving it, reliving it, reliving it because you're in a state of hyperarousal and fight or flight. That stress condition is causing your body a lot of harm. You're gonna have the healing path with Dr. C, but more importantly, I want you to heal the root cause of this condition, which is this chronic stress from an unresolved traumatic event. The other path I would also recommend, and you could do either, whichever resonates with you most or both, they can be done beautifully together, is somatic experiencing bounded by Dr. Peter Levine. It's helping people resolve trauma, the belief in the thesis that the trauma is not only a emotional response, but it's happening somatically. It's stuck in the body. I have a strong sense that an SE therapist or SE trained practitioner could be a very, very, very high service for you.

A lot of the somatic experiencing work is about regulating your nervous system. Okay, so let's do this, we've got a lot going on here with you. But that's okay, you're here, we're here together. Okay, take a deep breath, Randi, okay? Been through some stuff. Just close your eyes for a moment, Randi. And just breathe, okay sister? Want you to breathe deeply into your belly and let it extend far out, okay? And on the exhale, I want you to relax. Inhale, breathe deeply, and exhale completely. Inhale and breathe in deeply, and exhale completely. And I want you to put your right hand on your heart and your left hand on your belly.

This is gonna be your new practice every day. On the inhale, extending your diaphragm, on the exhale, relax. And just, as you breathe and you breathe out, breathing in and breathing out, I want you to silently say to yourself, all is well. All is well. All is well. Make two more deep breaths and end the exhale and say that silently to yourself, all is well. And one more deep breath in and then let that go. Beautiful.

How do you feel right now in this moment, sweetie? A little more relaxed, a little more grounded, fully reminded of your anxiety workshop, along with the vu breathing.

And I know they're all things that I can tap into that I can tap into. So, Randy, baby, here's what I want you to do, my love. I want you to use that alone, that practice, right hand on your heart, slip on your belly, all as well. I want you to take any of the suggestions that I suggested to you today, if they resonate with you. And I'm praying for you to be guided to the Healing Therapeutic Supportive Path with all the support that you need, that is not there for you today, my sister. Yeah, I do appreciate that. God bless you, sister. I believe that you are on the healing path because you want it. That's the most important thing, sweetheart, okay? You want it, beautiful work.

Go girl.

Yeah, I appreciate it. This show is sponsored by Better Help. I really, really love this sponsor for this show. And you hear me talk about it all the time. Better Help is a way of getting online therapy in a way that is easy to access, that is totally accessible, much more affordable, and thoughtful. Just take a little quiz and you get paired with a therapist. It's super convenient. It's flexible, it's affordable, and it's entirely online, which is amazing for all of us. And all the drama of trying to find a therapist, pay for a therapist, get to therapy, be in the room with someone, all of that's taken away with this incredible app, Better Help. All you have to do is fill out this brief questionnaire and get matched with a licensed therapist, and you can switch a therapist at any time at no additional charge. And they offer individual therapy, couples therapy, and even therapy for teens. Here's the story, guys.

We are all going through a lot right now. We need support. Without therapy, it can feel like you're a fish out of water just sort of flailing around. And I'm always on this show saying, okay, here's a first step on Dear Gabby, but your next step is to go deeper with your therapy. And that's why I believe in this beautiful brand, Better Help. If you want to live a more empowered life, therapy can get you there. Visit slash Dear Gabby today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, slash Dear Gabby. slash Dear Gabby. All right, let's bring in another guest.


Hi, Gabby.

How you doing? This is the first time I'm getting to talk to you, so I'm excited. This topic is very appropriate for me in terms of feeling stuck. I'm kind of in the gray parts of a career transition. And because of the career transition, I'm currently living back in my parents' house. A lot is coming up for that because I'm literally in what used to be my childhood bedroom. I'm having a hard time, like being able to get into that feeling of what I'm trying to call into my life because I think the environment I'm in

is making me still feel very stuck. Okay, I'm gonna stop you. I'm gonna stop you, ready? Let's just use this moment to get you unstuck. Okay. Let's get out of the story. Let's get into the body right here, right now. Another method from that chapter in Happy Days is the juitsu heart hold. So putting your hand on your heart and your hand on your belly. And with me right here right now, close your eyes. And those of you that are listening, if you're driving, do not close your eyes. Do this later.

Just gently close your eyes. Relax your tongue. Notice your breath. Relax your tongue. Notice the shift and the change in your breath. Relax your jaw. Relax your face. Relax your tongue. Take a deep breath in and hold and pause that breath for a moment, breathing in through your belly and your diaphragm on the inhale. Pause, and on the exhale. Together, let's do a very powerful vu chant. Ooh.

Exhaling it all the way out. And on the exhale, pause. Now take another deep breath in. Inhale through your belly. Hold that breath for a pause.

And one more vu.

Ooh. All the way out and pause. Now just gently take a deep breath in, pause, and then a gentle exhale and let that go. Open your eyes. Your whole face has changed. Every muscle in your face has changed.

How do you feel? So much better.

Tears, calm, calm. Yeah, gentle tears. Yeah, cathartic tears. Yeah. A release. Yeah.

Do you notice your body more? Yeah, before when I was feeling myself get so worked up, it was almost like I felt everything getting hot and I feel like, okay,

like I feel a little bit more gentle now, now. The flushness in your face has calmed, right? It's like your whole, because that's your vagus nerve, just completely regulating your nervous system. Calming your skin, your face, your belly, your shoulders, your mouth, your jaw. So you know what, sweetheart? Your home brings up a lot of, at the same time we can say, got a roof over my head, that's great. Use this time to do these spiritual practices to create your dear Gabby playlists to do that inner work. And the more grounded and steady you are in your body, the easier it will be for you to hear the intuitive guidance and to take the next right action towards the career path and the personal life path

that's going to unfold for you. Yeah, it's a really good reminder. Like I really needed to hear that, that the moments where I feel like I'm so stuck, I'm so overwhelmed, I don't know my next step. Like I can actually take back that control of my body.

So I definitely needed to hear that. Yeah, and yes, taking it back, but also just reconnecting to it, reconnecting to it, returning to your body. Yes, thank you. I'll send you a copy of Happy Days. You have those lessons in front of you. Okay, love that. Thank you.

Excellent, excellent.

Okay, love, thank you. You look like a different person. The magic is happening here, people. Full body transformations. If this practice, if the vu chant or the relaxing your tongue feels supportive for you and for your nervous system, there's a lot more where that came from. It's all in Happy Days. The guided path from trauma to profound freedom and inner peace. Peter Levine, the founder of Somatic Experiencing, says that trauma is the inability to be present. And by practicing methods like this, we become more grounded in our presence. We take in our body. We stimulate that vagus nerve, which can then begin to regulate our nervous system and bring us back to a grounded state, a connection to our body. When we're connected to our body, we're inspired, we're in spirit.

We're not using our spiritual practice to get above our body, and we're not so stuck in our body that we can't listen to our spiritual intuition. We're integrated. We're a spiritual presence, having a human experience, And in that grounded energy, we can have a greater channel through which we receive inspired ideas. So don't leave your body behind. Bring your energy back into the body and then let that inspiration guide you. I love this topic. I love that that was the page I opened up to in Happy Days. If you're reading the book, again, that's page 168 and 169. It's the chapter called Freeing What's Frozen. And I hope this really, really supports you. Enjoy this practice, enjoy this episode. Voo chant all day, drop your tongue, relax that tongue.

Share these methods with your family, with your loved ones and your friends. Thank you. Thank you for joining me today on the show. If you made it to the end of this episode, that means you're truly committed to miracles. I'm really proud of you. If you wanna get more Gabby, tune in every Monday for a new episode. Make sure to subscribe so you don't miss any of the guidance or special bonus episodes. Your experience at this show means a lot to me. So I really wanna welcome you to leave an honest review. And you can follow me on social media at Gabby Bernstein. And if you wanna get in on the action, sign up for a chance to be Dear Gabby live at See you next week.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.