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Sit for a second, imagine your dream partner looking you in your eyes and telling you allll that shit you wanna hear. Literally what would they say to you and make you feel seen and heard and valued and loved. Now open your eyes look in the mirror and say that shit to yourself.
“One of the best guides to how to be self-loving is to give ourselves the love we are often dreaming about receiving from others. There was a time when I felt lousy about my over-forty body, saw myself as too fat, too this, or too that. Yet I fantasized about finding a lover who would give me the gift of being loved as I am. It is silly, isn't it, that I would dream of someone else offering to me the acceptance and affirmation I was withholding from myself. This was a moment when the maxim "You can never love anybody if you are unable to love yourself" made clear sense. And I add, "Do not expect to receive the love from someone else you do not give yourself.” ― Bell Hooks, All About Love: New Visions
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The secret to happiness is making sure expectations match reality.
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