Marianna Hewitt ON: How to Create a Morning Routine that Results in Success & Why Energy-Drainers Are Getting in Your Way - Transcripts

I talked about a morning routine and meditation and I'm like if all of these really successful people that I admire do this, there's gotta be something to it. I need to wake up and workout. I need to wake up and do this. But those things didn't work for me. So it was trying something for a week, do I feel better? And I got into a routine of the things that feel best for me.

Those five things might not work for you. Hey everyone, welcome back to On Purpose, the number one health podcast in the world. Thanks to each and every one of you that come back every week to become happier, healthier, and more healed. and I am so excited to be talking to you today. I can't believe it. My new book, Eight Rules of Love, is out and I cannot wait to share it with you. I am so, so excited for you to read this book, for you to listen to this book. I read the audiobook. If you haven't got it all ready, make sure you go to eightrulesoflove.com. It's dedicated to anyone who's trying to find, keep, or let go of love. So if you've got friends that are dating, broken up, or struggling with love, make sure you grab this book. And I'd love to invite you to come and see me for my global tour, Love Rules.

Yeah, it was one of my favorite episodes, and people loved it so much, and so I'm so happy you're coming back again.

Yes, yes, yes, I'm excited to come back again. And you've just been on this incredible journey with your brands, your work, the community you spend time with, you're such a respected voice, such a well-known face in the industry, which I think is really hard to do when you've done it from building a brand, when you've done it from building social media, it's hard to maintain that. But I wanna go backwards today, because as we were researching, we also found that you don't always share too much about yourself, and that's obviously what On Purpose is built upon. And I wanted to ask you, and I ask this often, what's your earliest strong memory as a child? Can you remember if you could go back, what's one of your strongest, earliest memories, and why is it so important to you? And I'll tell you mine as I let you think on yours. If I think about my earliest, earliest memory, I can probably remember holding my sister when she was born. So I was around four and a half going on five, and I remember her being in my arms, and it was amazing to have that opportunity to actually hold this baby. And I remember my parents had been preparing me for this moment, but they were like, you gotta pray for a new little friend to be in your life. And so for weeks on end and months, I was praying. So I was prepped. And then when my mom was going to hospital and everything, I remember my dad staying at home with me and doing puzzles and keeping me occupied and getting me ready.

I want to know yours. We have a mutual friend, Audrey, and she was asking me the other day, how far back do you remember? And I'm like, I remember my first day of kindergarten. She's like, you do? And I was like, yeah, I can remember waiting in line. I can remember my backpack. I remember going into school. and it really was memories from 6 on where I remember a lot. At the time my parents got divorced, I was six. So this is very early 90s before a lot of families were getting divorced. And I had grown up in Germany, that's where I was born. And after my parents divorced, my mom went back to Germany.

I love that. I was I did not know that. And I think it's really interesting. I don't live in my past that much. And you don't strike me as someone who lives in your past a lot. But I do love going backwards to kind of connect the dots with those experiences. And what you just said is a perfect example of how you took that. Have you found sometimes that you speak to people but we all react to things differently, like for someone else, that going back and forth would have made travel really scary and they would have been like, God, my parents got divorced. Like it was the worst and I had to go back and forth. Whereas your story is I'm independent and I travel. Do you think you had to reflect or did you do any work to get there or was that just natural for you, where it was like I just felt like it was a good thing? Because I'm always intrigued as to life happening to us versus us

choosing what life does to us. Yeah, I think there's two scenarios here. So I have a friend who has really bad flight anxiety. Like she cannot get on a plane without taking something first. And we talked about it recently. And she was like, I think because my parents were divorced and I I thought every time I got on a plane, it was that I was leaving one parent and going to another one. And so she has a really bad time flying now 30 years later because of those experiences. Again, my parents being modern at the time, which is more common now. My parents actually got me a therapist when they were going through divorce. And this is 30 years ago. So you have to think I was six years old and my parents said, OK, we're going to separate. We're going to give you someone to talk to.

as an adult. That's incredible. Yes, So your parents are super mature.

And this is like parent goals over here, this is like paring goals over here. But you have to think then people weren't getting divorced. People were not going to therapy. Parents weren't co-parenting. There's not even really cell phones at this time. So they were trying to co-parent in different continents without Wi-Fi, without cell phones and the fact that they were able to do it. It's like if you live in the same city with someone else, it's definitely possible if they could do it between countries.

Wow and do you feel that because of the way they handled it, you've continued to have a good relationship with both of them? Yeah. Because of how they- what were some of the others? Because I think there are so many people today who have parents who got divorced or a lot of people who actually have parents who never got divorced but they feel that could have benefited them and then of course their parents who stayed together and people are grateful for that but from your experience what else I'm just so intrigued by how incredible your parents are like what else do you think they got right that despite being in separate countries you felt like you had a healthy

relationship with both of them they always made sure like no matter what this was the schedule I spent my summers with my mom in Europe I would go see her during holidays she would come back to see me and so my mom was always planning work trips about coming back to where I was and so she would make sure she was present at school even though she didn't live in the same state as me she would come to different things and so that time is really important and I remember more the days that she was there than she wasn't there and so now I'm so close to both of them and they're really like friends to me now at this point it's not really like a parental relationship if anything I probably parent them a little bit too much but they're just so incredible and I think hindsight is that they're older and I have the gift of age from them and I think because they were fully mature adults by the time they got married and had kids they realized how to be a parent more. I think a lot of times when you're still trying to figure yourself out in your 20s and 30s it might be a little bit too early but I think my mom waited till she was 36 to have me. My dad was 49 and I think they were in a place where they were fully ready to become parents and I think that really reflected on the way they raised me versus feeling like I have to do this because of my age which I think a lot of women feel that way now like oh I'm 30 I have to do this thing now but they don't feel ready because society keeps telling us we have to have kids by a certain age but I think they waited and that waiting made them better parents to

me. A little bit too much? Yeah wow so not only were your parents open to therapy, getting divorced from moving country, your dad being the primary caretaker and then your parents were actually having kids late which was so not normal then. Yes. So

it sounds like they were breaking all the rules...caretaker rules. Yes, they were doing all the things that I want to do now in life but a long time ago before it was like

normalized. Yeah yeah tell me one of the ways that you feel you parent your parents now that they're older and of course you know what's been one of the

most beautiful ways that you've got to return that.. Oh I do every I do every I do so much for them now but it's like such a blessing to be able to do that for them and so my parents are so grateful for anything if I buy them a flight or book something for them. But now it's like travel, I want to make sure that they're like very comfortable. So it's just making sure that they have everything that they need. So I have a half sister who's older. She lives in Connecticut. So my dad wanted to see them for Thanksgiving. So it's just, he's like, Oh, thank you so race for this flight. Like, he has so much gratitude for a flight that I could book for him. And it's like, if I can work hard to make sure that you can go see your great grandkids, it makes me so happy or my mom to be able to go on a trip and do the things that she wants to do. So now they're probably annoyed with me because Because I'm like, don't do this, don't do this. Don't go here.

So they're cute. So they're cute. I love that. That's so adorable. It's so beautiful, I think, for all of us who can support our parents in any way. It is such a blessing. One of the things that you brought up there that really stuck with me was this idea that you want to live your life in the way your parents were living their life back then, do you feel like you didn't grow up with a lot of limitations in your mindset or boundaries? Because I think what you were saying is that a lot of, for example, you gave the example that a lot of women feel like, oh, by the time I'm 30, I should have had kids by now, or by the time I'm this. And I think time and society place a lot of these boundaries and barriers. Did you feel more free from them because of how you were parented? Or did at any point in your life,

did these become a part of your education as well? Yeah. There's a couple of things. So one, my dad grew up really poor. He was born at the end of the Great Depression and grew up, my grandpa was a preacher. They had no money, like very, very poor. My dad only could go to college because he joined the Air Force and was able to go on a GI Bill. My mom immigrated to the US during the Vietnam War and came to America with literally nothing. So between the two of their stories, I thought if they come from nothing, they come from war. They come from the Great Depression and they could make this life for themselves. I can do anything possible because they've given me this great life that I could have that anything is possible here. So if I don't live my life to the fullest, it's almost a disservice to the sacrifices that they made for me to be here.

Like, what is this? Overly independent in full time. Like, what is this? Parents always want us to be safe. Like parents always want their kids to be safe, but it's almost like the safest thing parents can do is let kids take their own risks. I feel the same with my parents. Like my mom moved to England when she was 16 and they built their life. Her brothers were like 18 and 19 and they built a life. Whereas when I was moving to New York at 28, it was like, no, no, no. Like, are you okay? My baby. I'm like, mom, I'm 28 years old.

Yeah, yeah. Yeah, never letting them down. I was never worried about letting them down. I think I just had to prove them. So, like, my dad is very much like, okay, go do whatever you want. Like, this is great. Like he grew up in a time, there's not even phones. So, like, to have a job on the internet seems so insane to him. But my mom is very much like, show me what you can do and then I'll support you. And so I had to show her these opportunities. And I think when I went on my first brand trip and I could bring her on the trip, she was like, oh, you could travel for work. You could go places.

I love that, I love that, that's amazing. Congrats on having the strength at a time. I think that's underplayed like how hard it is when something is brand new to kind of bet on it because you didn't have the benefit of hindsight of how successful this thing was gonna be

or how big it was gonna be. Congrats on having the strength at a time. No idea at the beginning, people were PayPaling me $50 to post something. So, I was like, that's how early it was. And I was like, you would pay me $50 to post something? Let's go, I was so excited.

I was like no, I was so excited. Yeah, that's incredible. And when you started doing makeup tutorials and everything was that somehow and what I love about that story is you set out to be a TV anchor, right? That's what you want it to be. Then you go into PR, realize that being behind camera doesn't work. Then you do makeup tutorials was doing makeup tutorials fulfilling somewhat of a passion of being in front of camera like that obviously wasn't being a news anchor but there was something about it

that was feeling right. Yeah I always had a passion for sharing things that I loved with an audience and so at the time I thought being a TV host was the only way to do this because I had to be on a show to talk about things that I loved to share it with people. When YouTube came around and I'm like you can upload videos and talk about whatever you want and people can watch it. It was always the things I felt I wanted to do in my heart when I grew up, but when I grew up, there was no platform to do that. Then, at the time when I was auditioning, I was going to a lot of shows to be a host, and every time I would get towards the end, and they would be like, we're going to give this job to the celebrity. The celebrity host is going to do this job, and we're like, how am I ever supposed to be known if I don't get the opportunity? With the internet, we're in such an amazing place where we can take our careers into our own hands. There's no one to tell us no. You can create the content, and if the audience is there, and people want it, they will show up. They will watch. and they follow they will listen. And so it was everything I wanted in this new platform and it finally gave me a place where I wasn't getting told no in an audition that someone didn't have to say yes to me and I could prove and show that I had this audience online.

for myself and then starting her own brand. I know he was the best. That's such a great story and I'm so glad we're doing this. like background journey, because I feel like I think about this all the time. I went to public speaking school from 11 to 17 public speaking drama school age 11 to age seven age 18, sorry, for seven years. And I think about it all the time that. Before I'd even launched my online career, I probably had around like 20 years of public speaking experience before I ever did this professionally or got paid to do it. And I think that when I hear your story of like as a little girl, like going to a beauty camp to learning about not just how to put on makeup, but which brands were doing well and why and then skin tone and color. And then maybe looking for gaps in the market. You get such a real grassroots experience that no one else can get just by looking at what we have today. I feel like I feel like grassroots learning. There's nothing better than that.

Do you feel like there were things then that you were like one day like. Yeah, I think at the time I remember learning how to contour in high school before it became trendy like years later. And I remember I was at a mat counter and they were like, this is what like drag queens use on stage. This is where they use in stage makeup. This is called contouring. Use this brush, use this powder, you put it right here. So when you're on stage, your face really stands out. And I can remember this person telling me at a wax store how to do this step. And it's something I still do in my makeup every day today. we are like 15 years later from when they taught me this. And so I loved learning from them. And so it was so great, but you don't know it at the time.

at a really young age of how to talk to anyone in these scenarios." If you feel like you're not living your passion right now or you're not living your purpose or you know, we talk about these words a lot. I really want you to go back and look at every job you've ever done and reflect on what you learned there because I promise you that skill is going to be so useful for your passion and your purpose when it comes along. I was saying to someone my first ever job was I delivered newspapers but then my second job was I worked at Morrison's which is our version of like Walmart or like a grocery store but a big one and I remember just stacking shelves and everyone's like well what did you learn then? I'm like I learned how to memorize what was in every aisle if anyone asked me where anything was I knew exactly which aisle it was in. I learned how to turn up to work on time and leave on time and I learned that over time you got paid more like you'd learn so many basic things and what you just said you learn how to work with different people. I was 15 years old and I learned how to have a boss and how to have a good relationship with my boss and all of these techniques and skills that you would never learn in a textbook you never learn at school. Wondrium is an amazing educational platform with documentaries, series, lessons, how-tos and more covering just about anything you and I can imagine. With Wondrium you get a huge selection of videos over 8,000 hours, flexibility to switch to audio only, great for multitasking, superb quality programs that are expert-led, easy to follow and beautifully filmed and that are completely accessible. Watch or listen on your phone, tablet, TV and computer. No commercials, no tests or stress, just the enjoyment of learning. Right now I'm diving into the program cognitive behavioral therapy for daily life. Have you ever found yourself worrying so much that you wished you could just turn your brain off?

every day to three different platforms. I never worry too much about views. And I know that that's a really hard thing to say in a world where our job is valued on followers, views, likes, clicks. And that really is how we're valued. But at the time on YouTube, I started my very first videos with products I use today in my skincare routine. And that's 10 years ago because I genuinely love these products. I was shopping at Sephora. I love Prestige Beauty. I was a little bit older in the YouTube age. A lot of the people were in either high school where they were very young. And what they were sharing was not genuinely the products that I loved. And so I could have fallen to this trap of, I care about virality, I care about what's trending and I'm going to use these products.

on a number. Yeah, I think that's so refreshing to hear that from you, like I hope that there's so many people listening to this right now that are going, Mariana, thank you so much for saying that because I think everyone feels that pressure, but you just explained something really beautifully that you can have a lot of views, but people are not necessarily watching it for you or understanding who you are. And therefore, every video you post can get lots of views, but it's not like people are really interested in your viewpoint or your perspective or your thoughts. And I think we get those two things mixed up. We think that virality and followers means influence and actually it doesn't mean influence at all because if people only see you as entertainment, they're not going to suddenly listen to your perspective on something you should buy or something you should use or your expert opinion. And so that's what I'm hearing from you. And I hope that gives people a lot of confidence because I think it's very easy to chase the views. I know there's someone I'm thinking about right now who makes amazing content and it doesn't get a lot of views, but it's built him a really good business and he's trying to get more views and morality. I'm like, no, like this is building real value because your content is so awesome. You're actually attracting real companies who want to work with you privately because of the value that they see. And that's what your journey says to when it gets to burnout and everything you just mentioned about no benefits, no work hours, like that's so real. I think burnout comes from doing too much of what you don't feel is true to your core.

with that? Yes and no, because I think there is a balance of having time off. And so, yes, we want to do all of these things and we want to work really hard and create this life for ourselves, but I cannot do those things I need to do if I don't also take time to rest. And one weekend, I used to always work through the weekends. I'm like, oh, it doesn't really bother me if I answer emails on the weekend. It's not a big deal. But then one weekend I actually took that weekend off and didn't answer my emails. On Monday, I felt so much better and more refreshed, and so now it's really important for me to take those breaks. So, I did go through periods of burnout of overcreating and going to too many things. And in college, I had a stomach ulcer because I took on too much. And I physically was burnt out in my body because I was doing too much. And so, I know that I need those periods of rest.

You've talked about energy drainers and energy givers before. Walk us through that, because I think everyone feels that whether it's people, places, projects, we all feel that certain people drain us, certain projects give us energy.

Walk us through your version of that energy. Yeah, my energy drainers are saying yes to too many things. So saying no to me is what gives me energy. And I know that saying no might seem difficult at first, especially when you have opportunities that come to you and you want to say yes to everything. But saying yes to things I absolutely want to do has been so helpful. I am in a place now where I can say no, because I feel like I worked hard in my twenties to get to where I am today, that I have the ability to say no to things, but those nos also are important because it's gotten me to the jobs I want to do, the brands I want to work with. I think if you say yes to too many things, you might dilute yourself doing too many things. So saying yes to the things that are in alignment with the content you want to create the brands you want to work with the long-term goals that you have for yourself, personally and professionally. Other energy drainers that I have are not doing my morning routine in my evening routine, so really setting myself up for the day sets me up for success. I get up in the morning. I usually meditate. I gratitude journal.

is Audrey. Audrey. I gave to my mind was Audrey i love you.

We love you. She really is one of those people where you want to be around people who are good like that. You want people who make you feel your best. And so, as I've gotten older, it's less about quantity of friends, its quality of friends, and I choose to spend time with the people in my life, who give me energy and make me feel my best. because if you notice that after you leave a friend and maybe you're a little bit tired or drained or you're just like, whoa, and you left them, like it's okay to start like phasing out people

and love them from afar. Yeah, I can agree more with that. I saw this tweet that said, my circle is shrunk in size but increased in value. And, and I think that that's the mindset that you're sharing. And I think that's something people struggle with. I think we feel guilty because we feel like we're leaving friends behind or we feel bad because we feel people are going to think we're better than them. Like when you move on from a group, you're often worried about the perception that those group of people are going to think Ojai or Mariana think that they're better. And it's like, well, you're not leaving because you think you're better. You're leaving because you want to be better and you want to grow. How have you kind of outgrown groups or do you feel you've generally had a group that's grown with you or have you had to let go of friendship's relationships and things?

Yeah, I have a core like five people who have been with me for like over a decade These are constants in my life like Audrey we met in 2006, so that's like 16 years ago So we have friends for a very long time So it's like I had this core group of people who are very core to who I am They know me in my personal life This is who I want to spend my time with like it's not about content or online or anything It's just like who do I want to sit on my couch with like scroll on my phone or watch TV or just hang out With and those people are really important to me. I have a lot of acquaintances and people that we know just from work and being around people and I just know like I don't have to be overly close with a lot of people and that's okay And I think a lesson that I learned now in my 30s Was that a smaller circle is fine in my 20s? I think you move to Los Angeles you want to make all these friends you want to be around all these people? And then I'm like wait. I don't feel great when I'm around them. I don't feel like myself I feel like I'm trying to have to be Someone I'm not or prove to them that I'm something and I don't want to do those things Like I want to be truly who I am Authentically and as I got into my 30s, I realized it's okay that my circle is smaller Like it's okay to have these people who I know love me and are there for me no matter what and then everyone else has a bonus

So that's impressive Yeah, absolutely. And I love that you did that Like I think if we started seeing our relationships as degrees of connection as opposed to like friends and not friends Yeah, it becomes a lot easier to know how much time and how much energy to give someone When you decide to make that transition from creating content for amazing brands Prestige brands and you're making the switch to being like I'm gonna be a founder. I'm gonna create summer Fridays When you're making that transition walk us through some of the things you thought about because today I find that Everyone feels the pressure now Just as we felt the pressure when we were growing up to work at a big company or a well-known organization Today the pressure is everyone should be an entrepreneur and found their own company I feel like that's kind of like the the energy and everyone thinks like they have to launch something or whatever When you're going from selling other people's things to saying I'm actually becoming a founder What are the questions you think people should be asking? What are the insights they should be considering? considering Because I think it's very easy for everyone today to think oh, I've got a few followers I should launch something or because I'm connected. I should do this and I don't think that that always works out. Obviously, it's worked out for you So I'm wondering what were the things you had to think about?

I think if I had to go back and tell myself when we started the brand, what do I wish that I knew? And I wish that somebody would have asked me which it's all the things that I love now But like do you really want to run a company like the days that we launch a product? Let's say we launch fry products a year. That's five of 365 So the other 360 days you really want to work on a business Do you really want to work on a company? Do you want to be a manager of people do you want to run the finances and operations? Like it's all of those not fun things that you do every day And so I would just ask yourself before starting a business like do I really want a business because I love running a company or do I just want to say I have my own company?" And that's fine if you don't love some of the other stuff. And so Lauren, who's my co-founder of Summer Fridays, we have no ego in saying there's things we either don't want to do or we don't know how to do. And once we grew a little bit after our first couple years, we were able to hire for the things that we didn't know how to do because we really wanted to bring the best people in to run the business who we felt like could get us to the next level. I think it's difficult when you're starting a business because running a company is actually just so difficult day in day out of production of the items, selling the things, getting them online. Those things are not the sexy fun parts of the job and you have to really want to do that because at the very beginning you have very small teams. It's basically yourself, maybe a couple other people and you're not making a lot of money for the first few years. I think there may be a misconception of like, oh, you start a brand and all of a sudden you're rich and you have all this money and that's definitely not the case.

Yeah, I think it's just a great way to look at it because often you end up starting something, you put a lot into it, and then you realize it's not what you wanted. Like you didn't want your 90% of your life to be operations, strategy, management, HR, and people don't realize that often when we see entrepreneurs living their greatest life, we look at it and we go, they just do what they love all day. And it's not true, right? Me included, there are so many things I have to do and there are so many things I want to do and I've accepted that that's how my life is split up. And there's also knowing what to start. Like when I look at my career, there are things like this podcast that we started, my genius community that we started. But then there were amazing partnerships like me being Chief Purpose Officer at Calm, which was just a brilliant synergy because I was friends with the founders for four years. They were already solving a problem that I deeply believed in and I would rather join forces than go and build something to compete with my friends.

Yeah, well, it's already an existing incredible platform. So it's like if I can plug into what you already have created and I can make it even better by coming on board, we can make this really great instead of me having something that I'm trying to build and takes time, and so I think you can think about like what are you uniquely good at? What skills can I offer someone else and go work with a company go consult for people and then see from there. Maybe I do want to start my own thing or I can do this with other people. And so if there's a brand you love maybe reach out to them. Like let me creative director shoot for you, like let me help you with social and you never know what person will say yes. Because as creators, I think we wear so many hats and we can be good at so many things and you can take what you love as a creator and then do that on a larger scale with more budget

working for brands and people that you love. And then I can- Exactly. Did you ever raise, or did you choose not to- We raised money. Okay. So we ended up raising- Walk us through the choice of that

and then that process too. So we raised money. Okay. So summer and Fridays was self-funded and then we ended up raising money in 2019. So we had a really great first year, but we were running everything ourselves. We had the two of us, an employee, a couple of consultants and we were on the sales calls. We were running our retail accounts, but we really didn't know best how to do these things, And it was almost a disservice to ourselves by trying to figure it out ourselves. Like we got us to a really great point, but we saw we have a best seller. It's working really well. What can we do to take our brand to the next level and not lose the momentum that we had? So when we first launched the brand, people started reaching out to us and raising money is a bit like dating. So you want to date and meet everyone.

and then another group wanting something else. It just sounds like you really know what's important to you and you're willing to do what's important to you and what you're good at and what you value. And then there's all this other stuff that you realize where we have to find someone for that we have to figure this out. This needs to be shifted. How do you decipher between what's important to you and what you think is important? Because I think a lot of people again When they start something, they put the pressure of, I have to be CEO because it's my baby. And if I'm not CEO, then someone else will think, I'm just this or I'm just that. You don't strike me as someone who worries about what other people think of you or what you do. Where does that come from?

And how do you define or decide what's important to you? I live my life day to day, me, myself, I'm not living my life for other people. So if I'm so concerned with being called CEO, I'm gonna take on a role because I care that other people think that this is my title, but I have to do something every day that I don't enjoy that makes no sense. So why would I live my life for this title for other people's opinions when this is what I wanna do within the business and this is what's important to me and so I like to take inventory of my life pretty frequently and so I usually do like my New Year's goals and intentions, I like to call them intentions not goals because it's what I intend on doing for the year and then I'm always checking with myself with like my journal every day. So it's like what's important to me, how do I wanna feel today, what things do I love And so I'll go through and I'll make like a note on my phone of like, what are my energy drainers right now? Like what do I not like doing? What of these things can I eliminate? And if it's running the finances of the business, like I don't wanna do that. So who can we hire eventually to do this thing? And so it's eventually just like taking less of those drainers off of my plate. And so I can really focus my time on the things that I'm good at and I enjoy doing. I think it's difficult for people, especially women.

And then the business might suffer because of that. Like- Yeah, you've talked so much about habits and routines. You have a morning routine, evening routine. You just talked about your journaling habit, your intentions for the year. Were these things that became a part of your life over time. And if you could walk us through one of them or a couple of them in depth of your actual practice. So I'd love to hear about what is your personal meditation practice. And then any other one that you pick, just walk us through it. Because I think we see this in successful CEOs, successful founders, entrepreneurs, and just happier, healthier people, that routine and a commitment to practices are really beneficial in their life. What are some of yours that you can walk us

through with a bit more? Yeah, so on the podcast, I kept interviewing people. And everyone talked about a morning routine and meditation. And I'm like, if all of these really successful people that I admire do this, there's got to be something to it. So pre-pandemic, I was just waking up, working, going to sleep, working on the weekends. I had no routine and schedule. That was not great for me. But during the pandemic, I actually had time for myself to pick up a meditation habit, to figure out how to journal, to make a morning routine for myself. So I started doing a morning routine because I thought other people were doing it. And I think that's where I failed at first. Because I'm like, oh, these people do these things in their morning routine. I need to wake up and work out.

That's great. I love the way you just described the difference between intentions and goals. I hope everyone because, you know, whenever you're setting New Year's resolutions, you're setting goals, you're setting new quarterly goals, like that language needs to change because goals are what you want out of something and intentions are what you put into something and you only get out what you put in and I love that it's so much better to measure yourself against your intentions. Measuring yourself against your goals will always make you feel like a failure.

Yeah. And I think something I've learned recently too is I can have goals and intentions for myself of things that I'm working towards because I want great things in life. Like I'm doing all the things I want because I have these big things that I think I can accomplish but I can do that while still being present and happy with where I am today and that's come from really being in my 30s, so before I was always, you know, when you're younger you're like I have to be married and have kids by 30, I have to do this like Forbes 30 into 30, I have to do all these things by this age but it's like why when life is long and one of the best exercises I did for myself was I wrote down everything I wanted to accomplish in my life and the age I thought it might happen. When I got to 45 I had nothing left, there was I had nothing left to reach." And I'm like, if i accomplish all these things by 45, I'm going to live for decades longer. What more do I have to look forward to in the years to come? That gave me so much pause to enjoy the journey I'm on, enjoy where I'm at today, be happy because these things we have today, the things we get to do, the jobs we get to do, the brands we get to work with, the opportunities we have, we wished for the things we have now. So I don't want to rush through them just trying to get to where I'm trying to go. I want to be happy where I am today. I know it's going to come in time. And if it's a little bit later, then I thought, it's fine because I have so many more years left of my life to do all these things that I hope to

accomplish. Yeah that's such a great exercise that if you did write down everything you wanted to do most people would put the end date as like 30 or 40 or 45 and it's like you should have achieved everything and life's so much longer than that and there's so many more gaps in between. I had a friend who recently found love and his business and his work took a bit of a back burner but he found someone that he really wants to spend a lot of time with and that's what he was doing and I was saying you just won right like he you could see that as like two years out in your business journey and so now his business is two years behind but I was like you've just saved yourself years because you found a partner that you're really connected to and I think often we you think of it as like, they're separate, like there's work and then there's life, and it's like well, no, no, no, they're so interrelated, the way you just shared that is spectacular, like I hope everyone writes that down takes that away. Marietta, what are you working on right now? I feel like you're someone who, because you started therapy at six, which is just like, that's another, another incredible thing, but like what are you working on right now personally? What's something that you're grappling with? What's something that you're wanting to be better for yourself, for your friends, your family, whatever anything around

you. I think the presence is a big thing for me. I think because I used to focus so much on the future and the things I wanted for themselves, that exercise really did change my mindset so having a gratitude journal and writing down every day, I think a lot of times we're busy in our days and our careers, like I have to go do this. I have to do this today. But it's not I have to do, it's I get to do. So I get to go work here. I get to go to this opportunity instead of I had to do these things. And that really changed my mindset of being grateful for what I get to do every single day and really focusing on that and not being so stressed about things happening in a certain year or age. I'm 36 now and I keep feeling like, oh I'm still not ready to do all these things. Like I'm still so young. I think the older I get, the younger I still feel where when I was in my 20s I was like, oh, I'm getting so old or like, oh 36 is so old, but now that I'm 36, I'm like, it's still so young. So I think focusing on the present, being happy with where I am today, the things I have today practicing that gratitude each and every day.

because I let my age catch up with me. I love our health. I'm in the same boat as you. I feel like your 30s are really for that. Well, you're 20s, you still feel like a super person, and then in your 30s you're like, wait a minute, there is something known as getting older physically. I mean, and you start just becoming aware of how much your body has been through because you could. And then you go, why would I want to put my body through that anymore? Like, why would I do that damage to my body? And I'm definitely with you on that. I'm spending so much time reading about longevity and learning about longevity and not because I want to live longer or for vanity, but I want to live healthier for longer and I think that's the difference, right?

As getting older. Yeah, I think health is so important to us in taking care of ourselves what we eat what we put into our bodies, how we spend our time, our brain, our energy, all of these things, because we do want to have lower cortisol levels for the rest of our lives and have quality sleep so that our brain health is there so that we feel best in our mind to function every single day. And so um I do want to live a long, healthy, youthful, smart life where I can do so many things for decades to come and so those things are so important to me. So it's like watching documentaries around Blue Zones, and like, what are they doing here, and how do they live longer, healthier, happier lives? And so, those things are so important, especially our health, because we know when you don't feel good, there's nothing you can do about it. So it's like the second I got sick recently, and as soon as I was done, I was like, wow, I'm so grateful for my body. I'm so grateful for my immune system and my good health, because when you feel bad, you take for granted the days that you feel good. So it's really about thinking about your gratitude each day of feeling good in your body and the days that you feel good. So one of the things I write down in my journal is I am grateful for my body, mind, and soul. I'm happy for my physical and mental health and happiness because that's so important to me because it's not just like my physical health, but like how do I feel with my mind? Do I feel happy? And you know, on the days when you don't feel so happy, you have so much gratitude for the days that you do feel good mentally.

Wow. Absolutely. Absolutely. And I feel like you're a high performer. You're massively ambitious. You're like optimal peak performance individual. And I can relate to that. What that comes with is you naturally have higher cortisol levels because you're doing more stressful things, right? Like when Kobe Bryant's playing in the final of a game, it's like he's having to deal with more stress and then perform, but then recover as fast, right? And that's what all the best athletes, the World Cup's going on right now. And it's the same thing. All the best soccer players in the world are dealing with more stress.

Yeah. This morning I was talking to someone and she was like, what workouts are you doing? I was like, I love Pilates. Like I don't want to go into a workout where I feel more stressed going through it cause I want something that makes me feel good and rested. Um, I always wear an aura ring, which I have obsessed with. I love aura too. I love it and I track my sleep every night and like quality sleep really does make me feel my best the next day. Um, I drink magnesium every night before I go to bed taking like my vitamins and supplements. Um, and then really not like, I don't watch scary movies. Like I'm not doing things that are gonna make me feel more excited or like feelings that would make me feel more anxious. So anything that's going to make me feel more anxious cause I already have to be anxious and stressed in like my job So I don't want these added like books or shows that are gonna make me feel a little bit more stressed out and then I'm someone who it physically manifests in my body and so one day I was really stressed out I was at the airport I missed my flight I was so stressed because I had to get back for something the next day there was no flights out and instead of just relaxing and like taking a breath I woke up the next day had a rash on my body because when I get stressed so I have to remember like okay I can't get stressed out about things I can't control I need to take a breath or else it's gonna physically show up in my body when I'm like overly stressed about something especially something like that. I made it home it was fine.

other things in my day to feel my best. I love your insight on If you get to have a stressful day anyway you don't want your workout or your meditation to be the thing that stresses you out more. Mariana, I've learned so much about you today. Literally you have, I'm so happy I got to do this with you and I recommend anyone who's listening or watching please do this with your friends because when you interview your friend or you interview a parent or you interview a family member you realize just how much life experience is stored within this human that you call a friend or a family member. You know this very well, Mariana, end every interview with a final five, these are the fast five where you have to answer each question in one word to one sentence maximum but before we do that when asked you did I ask was there something I didn't ask you that you wish I asked you or something you wanted to share.

That's on your heart that you want to we didn't touch upon truly you oh I feel we didn't touch upon I think all good I think I just this is like a love note to you but like I love your content and it makes me feel so good and what I want to put out in the world is content that makes people feel either motivated or inspired or something in their life that adds value and I feel like I always get that from you and so thank you for your content because it makes me feel that way. And that's the things that I want to consume every day like did I take away something that made me feel better or inspired or motivated and I feel like you always bring that

out of your guests. And honestly like you've given us such a unique perspective and this is why I wanted to talk to you because I find you to be not Not only are you a successful business person, but you're committed to your self-care. And I think that those two things together are really inspiring to me. And that's the kind of energy I want my audience to feel that you can be successful and do self-care. You can be ambitious and be affectionate and kind. Like you can be courageous, but be really sweet. And I see that all in you. And I really, I love people who can like blend these opposites because I think for too long people have been made to believe, well, if you're bold and brave, then you're strong or you're weak and meek. And I'm like, well, no, there's this beautiful harmony in between. And so that's my love note back to you as well. I love that. I'm going to start saying that.

The first question is what is the best advice you've ever heard or received? And I see that all in you. Don't be afraid of being told no. So just asking people for something if they say no, don't be offended, but you never know

who's going to say yes. That's a great piece of advice. We've never had that. That is very good. And I do that a lot. So I'm with you. Okay. Second question.

What is the worst piece of advice you've ever heard or received? The worst piece of advice was people told us when we launched Summer Fridays not to launch with jet lag mask. And so I think that was in our gut and intuition, the product we wanted to launch the brand with. I don't know if it would be what it is today without that. So if you have a gut feeling about something you want to do personally or professionally,

even if the experts tell you something else, go with what you feel is best in your gut. I love that. And I love that example for that as well, because it's usually the thing I remember. I've never done a lot of brand partnerships or brand deals because my content was always so open and wide that it didn't really, there weren't really industries that crossed over as much in the beginning. And I remember one brand reached out to me and they said, Jay, we want you to do this video. They didn't give me an idea. They just gave me a vision of like, we want it to be about people living life on their own terms. Like that's the spirit of the video. And I was like, I love that. I can totally vibe with that. And I kind of remember I had some like made up fee at the time, like it was very early days. I was like, whatever.

And yeah, so do I love it all the time. Yeah, yeah because so do you love that? Yeah. But really, it's like going with your gut. Like, you know what's going to work best. Totally even if these experts tell you it's the wrong thing or don't do this, but you know this is what you want to create, put it out into the world because look your most watched video

are best-selling products. Your best-selling product. And I love those examples because I think we do listen to the experts and so love that. Question number three, what's something that you

used to value that you don't value as much anymore? Social a bit which is weird because it's also our jobs but I think I used to value what it was on there so much and now I understand it's a tool to do my job it's not my entire identity and so I have a really good relationship I think with it now.

What's the biggest lesson you've learned in the last 12 months?

I would say just taking care of my health is really the most important like there's no amount of money or anything in the world that you can do. Your health is the most important thing you can take care of, things will come so do everything you can in your control to be your best self and feel your best because that way if something were to come you are in your best shape that you can

Yeah, absolutely couldn't agree more very true for my year this year, too So I definitely take that to heart fifth and final question

If you could create one law that everyone in the world had to follow, what would it be? Oh One law it's kind of a little bit we talked about earlier of like saying yes and no to things So if you want to say yes to something, it should be an absolute full-body. Yes I really want to do this if you feel any hesitation or any no There might be something in your gut intuition telling you why I want to say no to this or why I don't want to do This and then you end up saying yes And you don't really want to do it anyway so say yes to the things you feel full-body yes to and say no to the things that you don't feel Absolutely. Truly like aligns with you and your gut and your intuition

That's great. Mariana here everyone. The podcast is called life with Mariana, you know, the brand summer Fridays Make sure you go subscribe to the podcast Do follow Marianne on Instagram on all social media platforms that you use And please the biggest thing I want you to do is tag what you learn from this episode. So take a screenshot right now, tag me in Mariana both on TikTok, on Instagram, Twitter, whatever platform you're using and let us know what you learned, what you're gonna try out, what you're testing for a week, what habit really stayed with you, a new journal question that you might have gained. I love knowing the insights that you actually apply to your life and that's what I want next year to be about the next 12 months of your life whenever you're listening to this, is not how much can you learn, not how much can you grow, not how much pressure you put on yourself but how much can you apply and I think in Mariana's journey I see a lot of applied wisdom and I think applied wisdom has so much more value than knowledge or books read or episodes listen to and so focus on application. Mariana you've been so wonderful today as always. It's been such a joy having you on. I hope we have you on again and keep tracking this incredible journey that you're on. And thank you for giving us permission to live long, healthy, successful lives that don't have to end by 40 or 45. There's so much life to live. Thank you for having me. Thanks, Mariah.

and the secret to making better decisions. Healthy or 45. There's so much life to live. Thank you for having me. Thanks.