Delony Rant: This Is an Insane Way To Live! (Hour 1) - Transcripts

March 17, 2023

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Dr. John Delony & George Kamel answer your questions and discuss: Looking for a new career while paying off debt, What to do with bills in collections, from the blog: How to Pay Off Collections, "Should I sell my house to pay off debt?" from the blog: Should You Sell Your Home to Knock Out Debt? "Protecting your family when you're uninsurable" Support Our Sponsor: PODS Moving & Storage DreamCloud Zander Insurance Neighborly Have a question for the show? Call 888-825-5225 Weekdays from 2-5pm ET Want a plan for your money? Take our FREE 3 minute assessment: Listen to all The Ramsey Network podcasts: Learn more about your ad choices. Ramsey Solutions Privacy Policy


Live from the headquarters of Ramsey Solutions, broadcasting from the pods moving in storage studio, it's the Ramsey Show where we help people build wealth, do work they love, and create incredible relationships. I'm John Deloni, joined here by George Camel, and we are taking your calls on work, money, life, whatever you got going on, we probably have an opinion on it. Give us a shout at 888-825-5225. That's 888-825-5225. It is a packed audience out there today, packed, and it's good to see everybody. Let's go out to John in Greenville, North Carolina. What is up, John? How are we doing, man? Hey, I'm doing well. How are you all? Excellent, my brother. What's up?

Okay, so two questions. I'm looking for some advice and a career change, and I also transitioned from whole life to term life, and I kind of want to know what to do with the money that they're going to send back to me. So I'm 41. I've been in education about 17 years

in administration at a middle school. Can we just stop right there? God bless you, dude. It's amazing. God bless you, man. Thank you. I have a middle schooler, one, who lives at my house. Wow. And I'm trying to administrate that, and God bless you, dude. Incredible. Thank you, Fred. Thank you.

There is no job on earth you can't do, so there you go. All right. I appreciate it.

And I'm trying to administrate. I appreciate it. Go for it. Yes, sir. So in listening to the show, I've been listening to the show off and on, but I really made a strong commitment back in January of this year. So I won about $121,797 in debt. Of that, it's consuming debt about $60,000, and then the mortgage on my home is about $61,000. So wanting to expedite getting out of debt, but also realizing I'm pretty much capped at my salary, unless I go into being a senior principal, which the working conditions is worse than what I have now. So I'm thinking about a career change and trying to navigate that.

So are you wanting to change careers because of the income, or are you wanting to get out of an

administration? And do me a favor, talk directly into your phone for me. Yes, sir. There you go.

A little bit of both. I want to get out because I don't think it's going where I needed to go.

Do you want to stay in Greenville?

Yes, sir.

What's your current income?

$85,000 a year.

All right. Now you said you have a whole life policy. What would you get from that once you cancel it?

Yes, sir. I've canceled it through Zander, and so they quoted me at about $5,400 some dollars and 45 days from when I canceled it, which I think is March of this year, is what I can expect. And I don't really know. I know there's going to be some taxes involved, so I'm a little worried about that, too. Okay. And do you have any other money right now in savings? My emergency fund. I'm on baby step two.

Okay. So you've got $1,000 in the bank, and the rest has been going towards the debt?

Yes. What is this consumer debt? Is it student loans?

Yes, student loans. Yes. And then we have about three credit cards.

And you've been carrying the student loans for the last 17 years? Yes, including the masters that I got. So it's kind of been a little bit here and there. You've collected some along the journey?

Yes. Okay. Are you married? Do you have somebody to pitch in and help, or are you single?

Single. Looking to be married, but working 12 hours a day, it's kind of hard.

You're impressive. Well, the good news is, making $85,000, can you pay off $60,000? Absolutely. You can be done with this in less than two years. Okay. So that's not a, I wouldn't change careers because your financial situation is on fire. I would change careers because you want to change careers. Okay. Yes, sir. Do you know what you want to do? Or do you want to stay in the education world? Or you want something completely different?

I've been kind of looking at some things in IT, and I've taken like a little bootcamp course. And it was really intriguing. I did well on it. I'm just a little nervous about jumping into that because it would be entry level. And I need to get certifications and stuff. Finding the time to study for that has also been an issue, but...

Yeah. I'm going to tell you something. I hate to say this because I've actually, I've been an education administrator for most of my career. So I think there's an opportunity, and it's going to be a very unpleasant one. As George was pointing out, I think there's an opportunity for 24 months of staying in your current job. Even if you just made one of those chains that you make when you're a kid out of construction paper and you just tear one off every month. I got 24 of these months, and I'm going to work these long 10 to 12 hour administrative days. And then on Saturdays and Sundays, when I'm not at games and I'm not running around at whatever we're doing, right? At band ceremonies or whatever, I'm going to start branching out into some of this IT world. And you can do part-time IT work. You can do on the side IT work. And make no mistake, dude, in 24 months, you're going to be so tired.

You're not going to be able to form sentences. You're going to be exhausted. But you will have, A, paid all this crap off. You're not going to have enough time to go out and do anything. And that's good. And you're going to have been able to dip your toe in the water and see if IT is the job for you. This is just me. I may be way out to lunch. I think that is going to be a tough toggle from being somebody that all these kids love. That's, you know, Hey, Dr. So-and-so, or hey, Mr. So-and-so, who gets to help people. And all of a sudden you transition to just headphones on 01111001. Maybe you're ready for that.

That feels like an educator's fantasy. Like I just want no kids and no humans and especially no parents. And I just want a screen and some headphones. That will be awesome for about two months. And then you'll be frustrated. I like what George has to say. I mean, if you clear this up and begin to think like, you know, do I like teaching? Do I like education? Do I want to go teach at the college level? Do I just want to get out of the school district because it's toxic or don't want to go to private school? I think clearing some of this debt up is going to give you a cleaner slate to think from. Does that sound right?

It does. Yes, sir. So following the baby steps, we're going to ignore the mortgage debt right now and just focus on that consumer debt and making 85,000, even if you threw 30 of the 85 towards the state, you're done in two years. So my goal is to do it even faster than that and do what it takes. Cut the expenses, work on the side if you need to, maybe even do some IT side work to start dipping your toes in that water. But here's what that's going to do for you. Once you're debt free, you could take a pay cut. You could take an entry level IT job making 50 or 60 and make that work if you're debt free. And so that would be my fuel to get debt free even faster is knowing that's on the other side.

And John, we also run into people all the time who are debt-free and they're working at a pretty toxic job. And then they have this newfound power, this newfound freedom that when the boss says, hey, I need you to, I know I didn't tell you, I'm so sorry, it's Friday afternoon at four o'clock. I need you to be here tomorrow morning at 8 a.m. to open up the doors for the band concert. And you just look at him and you go, I'm not doing that. Like I've already got plans, I'm not gonna be here. And you owe nobody anything. And it's basically, I call, I call you, put your cards on the table, you're not gonna fire me. And they don't. They find somebody else, they've just been picking on you and you've just been saying yes cause you think you're 120 grand in the hole and you can't breathe. Man, you clear that stuff up and your job, suddenly the light comes on a little bit and it becomes more of something that's gonna make you happy

and not something that's just killing you.

And you just look. John, I'm gonna send you our friend Ken Coleman's Get Clear Assessment to help you with the career side and Every Dollar Plus to help you on the financial side

when it comes to making a plan for these dollars. Love it, love it, love it. Thanks for the call, John.

AAA8255225, this is the Ramsey Show. Hey folks, the days are getting longer. The weather is starting to warm up. It's finally spring, and that means it's moving season. If you're planning to move soon, listen. You gotta check out Pods Moving and Storage. They've got an exclusive offer just for Ramsey listeners, up to 20% off moving and storage when you book by March 24th. You know Pods is the only Ramsey-trusted moving provider out there. They've been trusted with more than six million moves, and their customer service team makes your move feel like you're the only one. Pods gives you the control with the flexibility of move dates and the ability to pack on your schedule. Basically, we trust Pods to give you a great moving experience. So don't miss your chance to get that experience for up to 20% off through March 24th.

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That's slash Ramsey with the promo code Ramsey. Welcome back, this is the Ramsey Show, 888-825-5225. We're talking money, mental health, marriage, life, whatever's going on in your life, give us a shout. 888-825-5225, I'm John Deloney joined here

by George the Great Camel. Wow, I forgot that was my middle name. It is, it is.

I love it, the great, not great. It is, it is. I love it, the great, not great. That's what you've asked us to call you, so there you go.

Self-proclaimed. Well, John, I'm on the internet and I see this article and it just, I thought, I like to grind your gears. And so I think this one might do that. I want to get your take on it. And here's the gist of the story. My hot take as the kids say, right? Yes, please never use that term. You got it. We're done with that. Okay. So this woman recently gives birth and her husband demands that she pay the entire hospital bill herself. Now there's more to the story.

They've been married seven years. She just had their first baby three months ago. They split everything in their marriage 50-50 when it comes to finances and generally keep their money separate. And everything seemed to be going pretty well until they received a hospital bill for this birth. So here's the deal. She planned to give birth without any medication, but after 24 hours of labor decided to do the epidural. And when the bill came, her husband expected her to pay the entire eight grand bill herself. And when she asked why, he said, you're the one who couldn't hold out for a few more hours and you jacked up the bill and I shouldn't have to pay for all of these extra requests. And then finally, if she wanted luxury, she should expect to pay for it. Oh my God. If you tried that on Sheila, what would happen?

What hell would break loose? Here's the thing. I wouldn't even be, I wouldn't know. You wouldn't get the sentence out. Because by the time those words left my mouth, I would already be at the gates and I don't know which set of gates I would be at if I said something

like this. You wouldn't get the sentence out. Now, if you're wondering all the extra, what jacked up this bill? Well, of course the epidural, very expensive. Lactation consultant, nursery fee, extra night stay, postpartum supplies, any food she ate. So all of that made the bill go up. And so he goes, well, that was your decision. So you should pay for that. That's not coming out of my pile of the pot. So she ended up paying the entire bill on her own and she's now wondering and questioning,

are her feelings valid, John? Okay, so I had somebody call my show a few years ago and here's the question. She had a two year old and a seven month old and she was with her boyfriend and he let her know. I wanna let you know that I'm not considering you for the role of my wife. But two things, you're gonna have to A, get my house back in order. Cause this place is a wreck. Like you're just not taking care of the house. And B, you're gonna have to get your body back because let's be honest, you let that sucker go. And when you get that back and she, and here's the deal. She was calling me to ask how she could be more disciplined. And I was like, oh, honey, like, oh man, I've got a few friends that would not mind going back to jail. What's his address, all right?

So it's easy when you're, when somebody is so, is gaslighting you so bad, is so out to lunch, you think you're the crazy one. You start to look in the mirror and be like, oh, it must clearly, it's me.

I'm the problem, it's not them. They've been very clear that it's not them. It's me, I'm the problem.

Yes, yes. Wow, so this is an abusive relationship very clearly. But it's an insane relationship. But here's the thing. I do wanna call out to, there's, I don't know how 10 million people listening right now, half of you, and I know it's half of you because that's how much negative press we get. I'm never gonna, I'm not gonna share a checking account. I'm not gonna share bills. We split this thing 50-50. This is the end result of that. And if it's not, if you're like, no, no, no, I mean, I would help with the baby, where's your line, dude? When you set up a my life and your life, and we're married under the same roof, this is the root of that crap that happens, right? This is the end result down the road of people who don't say, hey, we're married, we're in, come hell or high water, we're both in on this deal.

this is that bull crap. Oh, sorry, bro. You should just held up. Bro, somebody that's driving a truck through you is like, well, man, should just hung out, man. What an idiot. I don't know how this man is still alive, truthfully.

But what an idiot. I don't know how this man is still alive truthfully. What an idiot, man. So I don't know, I mean, truthfully, I don't know if there's marriage is gonna survive. No. If this is how it continues. If this is the attitude towards it, and we know that divorce and money fights are one of the leading causes,

problems and money fights, leading cause of divorce. Another, leading cause of divorce. And it makes sense when you look at this. Being married to an idiot… That's another one.

absolute more… filled out absolute reward… And it makes sense when you look at this. Being married to… That's another one. Absolute moral. A poor choice was made at some point. But, we teach people that you should combine finances, one hundred percent when you get married. No earlier, but as soon as you're married, combined finances, you're a team. It's we, it's not—well, that's your bill. Well, I'll cover electricity, you cover the water—I got food last month when we ate out. insane way to live. If you wanted a roommate, don't get married. Is that simple? Yes.

If you

want to go back to being roommates, you can do that. If you want to go back to- And by the way, for the first time in Ramsey Show history, we're going to add a few other recommendations. Husbands, don't look at your wife and say an epidural is a luxury. You could have waited a few more hours. Don't ever say that. Ever. Never say that. Lactation consultant, not a luxury. Not a luxury. Here's a thing, gentlemen, in case you don't know this, babies have to eat. They have to eat. Here's another one.

Nursery fee. So babies can stay in the room with you. Is it insane that hospitals charge that? Yes, it is. But I don't know, throughout all of human history until about 60 years ago, babies always slept in the same room with their new parents. Like, dude, don't be insane. Don't be georgeous. Man. I told you it was going to grind your gears and I was right. This is the opposite of hemorrhoids. This has got me so puckered up. I want to know this guy.

I want to find this guy. Wow. We went from visual to visceral. Thank you, John. I can't, I'm just trying to imagine how this would go in my house. And I just wouldn't. Here's what would happen. You and probably Dave and maybe Rachel, there'd be a couple of y'all at this desk and there'd be a box of tissues and you just be saying like, John's dead. John's dead. And he won't be doing the show. He had a good life. He had a good life, but man, he sure was stupid when it came to one of his children being born.

What a good life. All right. That's enough of that, John. Well, thanks for, I need some good news.

Thanks for making my day. Let's see if Erica can help us out. Let's go to Erica in Cleveland, Ohio. What's up, Erica? Yes. Save me. Save me. Hi, my name is Erica. I'm from Cleveland. How are you doing today, John and George? We're making it. We're making it.

Hey, we're kind of up against the clock,

so right into your question. Okay. Um, I was in an accident in January. The insurance company of the other person found me at fault and they sent, um, sent it to the collection for $5,000. And I was trying to figure out what can I do because I don't even know where to begin.

So you were in a wreck. Um, you were at fault and they had a $5,000 judgment against you. And I'm assuming you don't have $5,000 to pay. No. Okay. And they've all, it happened in January and they've

already sent it to collections. Yeah. Yes. They sent me a letter, what, um, this week, actually for collections already. Okay. They sent me the letter for, and I was at fault last week

and sent me the collection, the letter for collections this week. It may not be collections yet. It may just be like a, they want payment. Like if they just, who contacted you? Yeah. Who,

yeah. Who wrote the letter? Who contacted you? Yeah. Who, yeah. Uh, I don't know. It just said

some kind of collection agency. Okay. Um, I would call them back and I would be very direct with, I just got this piece of paper that says I'm at fault. I've had no time to review it. I haven't had time for my attorney to review it. I just got this thing and then all of a sudden you guys are calling me for $5,000, which I don't have right now. I'm going to have to make arrangements. I'm going to have to call you back. Um, and then you're going to have to sit down and come up with a plan for this 5,000 bucks. Um, if there's a judgment, there's a judgment. Do you have any other debt?

Yeah. Do you have any other debt? Um, that's, that's at student loans and the house notes. Okay, and I don't really know how much mine still the loans are exactly. Well, we got some homework to do Erica

Well, we got some homework to do Erica. Make sure let's figure out exactly how much we owe Let's list it all out and let's take care of this collections before it accrues any penalties or interest or fees But if you owe it, let's just make a plan to pay it i'm going to send you financial piece university It's going to walk you through our proven plan to get out of this mess and start building for the future instead But uh, it's five grand and it feels like a lot right now one day you're gonna look back and go that sucks

Remember that yes, but you guess but you gotta gotta gotta pay it Don't ignore it because it's gonna double and triple on you then you're gonna get in a big way to pay it off That's right. This is the ramsey show the only way out to pay it off jondaloni here with breaking news Sleep is critical for your health All right That's not news But a lot of us don't want to admit how important sleep is to our mental and physical wellness To our body's ability to recharge. I mean having a new baby legit reason to lose sleep telling yourself You're quote unquote super busy. So you don't have time to sleep is ridiculous But tossing and turning all night on your old uncomfortable mattress That's also a terrible reason and it's one you can change You know, I only recommend things that my family actually uses in our home So let me tell you a dream cloud mattress can be a game changer for your sleep quality and right now dream cloud is offering 25 percent off your order plus 50 in additional savings and $599 in accessories when you use promo code jaundaloni That's cooling pillows luxury sheets and a mattress protector go to dream cloud sleep calm and use promo code jaundaloni today So go to dream cloud sleep calm and use promo code jaundaloni today This is the ramsey show 88825 five two two five is triple eight eight two five five two two five let's go out

to Charlie in Virginia Beach what's up Charlie hi so I bought my house this past November and after finding Dave I realized that it was a very poor financial decision that's a big one that's a big one that's a big one yes my boys and I are considering getting married and I'm just wondering if I

should save some money to be able to sell my house as I'm in baby step two how much debt do you have 395 is the mortgage and I have 81 and okay when do

you plan on getting married probably before next year 2024 has even proposed yet we have talked Oh Charlie Oh Charlie they'll talk the old talk could be 2029

no sounds like she knows something we don't there's an ultimatum in place John yes okay so what makes you want to sell this house that's a very big decision it's just is the mortgage way too much comparatively to your take-home pay it's

astronomical wow give me a number here what's your take home point for my take

home I take home about $30 under 8k give me a number here what's your take home

point so about 8k and the mortgage payment is how much $2,524 okay and I

have a coa of 180 a month okay on top of that so we'll include that in numbers so

you are I mean that's is that on a 30 year clue that it is a 30 year okay

looks like 31% okay yeah okay so we're looking at over 30 probably closer to a third of your take-home pay which is a lot it's not on fire I thought you're

gonna tell me it's 50 60 percent of your take-home pay and if you get married yeah

and if you get married his his salary comes on top of that too right yeah so

the question is what is your household income versus your debt like us combined

right now we're gonna just looking at Charlie solo your so that's your take home pay yeah and what how much debt do you have total yeah 81k and is that all student loans oh no with the it's 476k together we're just looking at the consumer debt so you have 81,000 student loans so yes okay now with your take home pay you could pay this off on your own you're making about 100 K take home almost and so could you take you know 40 grand a year and throw it at this debt and be done in two years especially if you're married inside of that you're gonna have combined incomes you're gonna have a bigger shovel to throw at this

debt and so could you see is he bringing in debt with him? No, he's a lot smarter than me.

Does he have a house? He does. Okay. So what's the plan if you guys get married? Would you sell this one anyways? He does. I would want to sell my house because he has a better house. Oh, okay. I have a townhome. He has a real home. And how long? Wow.

Shots fired. Charlie shots fire.

I love a townhome. Okay. So either way, you're going to sell this house down the line.

Shots fired, Charlie shots fired.

I love a townhome. My gut tells me we can sell it when the time comes to sell it. Cause right now you're gonna sell it

and then rent somewhere in Virginia Beach, right?

Yeah, yes. That would be the plan. And if you sold it,

what would you net profit after all the fees? I wouldn't profit anything. I would have to save to sell it cause it's only appraised at 399.

So you'd be underwater on this thing.

So you'd be underwater on this thing.

Yeah. So it's not really doing you any favors other than getting rid of your mortgage payment, which is just gonna be replaced with rent. And so I don't think the house is the problem right now. I think it's getting on a budget and seeing if we can even increase the income and maybe we can get rid of this debt before marriage.

That'd be a cool goal. And so I don't-

That's what I wanna do. To be able to cashflow the wedding, start our marriage off completely debt-free, you move into his place, we have a big shovel and now we can start attacking the house.

I like that plan. You listening, David? Okay.

He's listening. He's listening. But hey, I wanna tell you this, Charlie, and this is not John and George, Debbie Downers, okay? The temptation here is to say, okay, we have a plan that's gonna, a two-year plan. And inside that two-year plan, we're gonna move into his house, we're gonna sell my house, we're gonna get married, and we're gonna live happily ever after. The reason we tell folks don't play house, there's the moral side, we just move that over. There's a math problem here, okay? And so the number of relationships right where you are that don't end up getting married, or something comes up, or it becomes like, well, I wanna wait another year and then another year, it's lots and lots and lots and lots of them. So as hard as this is, I want you to do two things at the same time. I want you to make plans for the future, right? You'll continue down, you'll talk about marriage, make them propose to you in the right way, and do all that fun stuff. And I want you operating as though you are on your own, okay?

Absolutely. And do both at the same time. But that means, man, it may come time to... You may need to get rid of this house or you wanna get rid of this house, but don't blame Dave and don't blame his marriage for it. Let's do it when the time is right in the right order, right? When you're getting married, we're gonna move in together, cool, now we gotta get rid of these places. There's gonna be a lot less pressure that way than suddenly you sell this place, and I guess that's gotta move in, or I gotta get an apartment, and it gets all wonky and everybody gets sideways.

Does that make sense?

Do both?

Yeah, do it in the right order. But good for you. And David, get on the ball this weekend.

What are you waiting for, David? Poor David. No, no poor David. He's listening right now. He can't even defend himself.

He's probably, I'm playing on a John. No, no, I'm just kidding. He's listening in on a John. All right, sorry if I ruined it, David. George, I did that one time. I had a former student of mine, I was walking out of a restaurant, and a former student of mine was sitting just at a booth, and I slid into the booth, and there was a woman sitting across from him, and I looked at her and him. And I was like, what are you doing? And he introduced me to her, and I was like, are you with him? And she's like yeah. And I looked at him and said, you're ridiculous. You're gonna let her get away. You're just messing around.

I haven't seen him forever. You're just messing around, screwing around, and she's gonna leave because you won't, don't have the courage to just get married. I was just, I had never met her. I was just being silly. Were you just trolling? Just absolutely trolling. And he looks at me and he looks at her and he reaches under his leg, throws the ring down on the dinner table and goes, well, you ruined that one, Deloni. And I was like, oh no. Wow. And then that's how, that's their proposal story. And I was like, I think it's probably time for me to go.

Sorry. Yeah.

I was like, I'll start this. Never again. Never again. Don't ever let John slide into a booth if you're trying to propose. That is correct. It's a very specific scenario

that applies to almost no one. That is correct. But it does provide, it does apply to David and Charlie. David needs to get on the ball here. Let's see here. Let's run out real quick to Peter and Billings. Peter, we're right up against the clock, my brother. So let's get right to your question. Can you hear me? Yes, sir.

Get right to the question. Okay. So my wife and I are both 26 years old and we got married last year. And since then we've paid off $42,000 worth of cars and have money to pay off $75,000 worth of student loan. Wow. Way to go, man. We haven't paid it. It's just an high yield savings account because we want to see what happens with this decision but we're ready whenever it happens. And so now we have no debt but our mortgage. And so we're maxing out our 401Ks. She's already maxed hers out to 15%. And I just recently became self-employed and I've heard you guys talk about there's been some changes with Roth, IRAs recently for people that are self-employed and that's the route I'm looking at going.

I know the regular Roths and we have a $6,500 limit annually, like as far as contribution limits. And I'm wondering, is that the best option to go with or?

Are you solo? Wow. Way to go, man. Are you solo? No employees? No employees, yeah. Okay. My guess, and this is a hunch I want you to look into, is that the Solo 401K would be your best bet. And you can only do that if you have no employees. Just a traditional one. You can do a Roth Solo 401K as well but that will have giant contribution limits. There's a total of 66 grand cap for 2023

because you can contribute as the employee and the employer. No employees?

I took this traditional one.

Oh, okay. That's what I was thinking. I just couldn't see it on E-Trade. So I'll go back and look for that.

Yeah, do your homework on the Roth. Yeah, do your homework on the Roth Solo 401K. You can get in touch with one of our smart investor pros to walk you through this to help you set this up. But it's an incredible tool for those that are self-employed. You don't have to retire broke if you're an entrepreneur.

That's for sure. Way to go, Peter. You and your new spouse are crushing it. That's incredible. Hey, this is The Ramsey Show, triple eight, eight, two, five, five, two, two, five.

Give us a shout and we'll be right back. Look, life insurance has one job, to replace your income for your dependents if you die. That's it. So if someone tries to sell you high cost life insurance that doubles as savings or an investment strategy, scams like whole life, cash value variable life, then run. Term life from Zander Insurance is a much smarter way to protect your family's future. Zander shops all the top companies to find you the most affordable term life rates. Then you can go build wealth with what you save, not by falling for those crap policies. Go to to learn more. That's or 800-356-4282.

Every time I talk about this upcoming event, I get more excited because it's going to be incredible. Money and marriage is back. And this time instead of just one night, it's gonna be an entire weekend. October 19th through 21st. This is months away. So you got time to save up for it. Join Rachel Cruz and me for the money and marriage getaway and spend an entire weekend unplug from your day to day life and simply focusing on your marriage. One thing I've seen across the country where I'm traveling or doing my show is over the last three or four or five years, couples have become roommates. Couples have become great co-managers of their house and they have lost intimacy. They have just gotten sideways as one another and it's so hard to find a bridge back. Even when that bridge feels like it's only two inches away and that's what this weekend is for. We're gonna cover things like money and budgeting with your spouse.

We're gonna talk about connections, sex, and intimacy. We'll get you planning for your future together. And this isn't what you think of when you think of a marriage conference. Not just gonna be you sitting there with a notebook, being a nerd. You're gonna learn a ton, but we're also gonna give you in your spouse time together throughout the weekend to reflect and discuss on what you're learning and actually come up with a real game plan to take home with you. Rachel Cruz and I will be right there to coach you along the way and answer your questions. And we have some incredible surprises that will also be a part of this weekend. We can't wait for you to be there. If you're listening to this and it sounds like something you and your spouse need, I want you to talk to your spouse about this because listen, tickets start at $6.99, which is a deal. It's madness for a weekend marriage retreat getaway. And this is gonna be an incredible experience. Go to slash events to save your spot.

That's slash events to save your spot.

Can't wait for that, John. My wife needs this.

She needs to be at this event. Listen, okay, that's a great point. If you're just heard that announcement, that announcement and you think my spouse really, really needs this. You do the old elbow. Do not say it like that. Say, hey, I would like us to go to Nashville on a trip together to a really fun, cool marriage conference so that we can get even better. Not. That's the spirit. You know what you need, honey? You need marriage counseling. To learn how to be a better person.

And you did the old elbow? Do not say it like that. And this is gonna be fun. Most marriage retreat. Like it can be heavy and you guys will get real, but it's also very fun. It's you and Rachel. It'll be heavy, but it'll be fun too, It'll be fun too.

And it'll be heavy, but it'll be fun too, that'll be fun too. And it will not be weird

that you and Wynton, you're in the audience. We'll be there. Can I get a discount? Absolutely not.

Okay. No chance. Let's go out to Grand Rapids, Michigan and talk to John.

Hey John, what's up, man?

Hey guys, how are you today? Good, good, good.

What's happening? Good, hey John, to start off, I wanted to say thanks. Your show played a part in saving my marriage,

so appreciate that. Well man, that means the world to me, dude.

Thank you so much. You're welcome. Hey, but what I'm calling today, I am uninsurable as far as life insurance goes, and so I'm wondering what you guys suggest as far as protecting my family without being able to have life insurance, the traditional life insurance, I guess. Do you have a medical issue? Yeah, I have a PTSD from the military, and that pretty much mixes any insurance company

willing to help me. And there's not, there's, excuse my ignorance here, there's, I know about that with civilians, but there's not a program that the military has to take care of,

it's the people who've been taking care of all of us? Not as far as life insurance goes. There is a company that specializes in getting that, it's not a thing through the military, but it's a company that supposedly specializes in getting life insurance for people like me,

but they also denied me. Wow. I want this to be like a moment of shame for our country. It's embarrassing, and on behalf of all of us, I'm sorry. I'm truly sorry. I appreciate that. I know that didn't buy you a cup of coffee, but it's, as a taxpayer, just a regular old knuckle-headed citizen, I'm embarrassed, and I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, man. All right, I appreciate that, but.

Do you have any, do you have any insurance

through your workplace, even a small policy you could get? No. Okay. Cause I'm just on disability through the VA. I don't have a workplace, but. There are. My wife has a real small one on me, I heard, I think it's only like 30,000, but that's not gonna help her save the house

and everything else if I die. Yeah, the one route that I could appoint you to is a guaranteed issue policy, which wouldn't be a lot, probably only up to 50 grand, but it might be an option, but it might be an option. Your best option really is to kind of become what we call self-insured, to where you have no debt, you get the mortgage paid off, you get a nest egg saved up,

and if something happened, your family's gonna be okay. But it might be an option. So, John, that's what, go ahead.

That's what we're working at. Obviously, can't get there overnight. We're debt-free other than our house, but if I got in a car wreck and died today, she wouldn't be able to keep the house, she wouldn't be able to afford it. I just earned income.

You can also look into mortgage life insurance, which is gonna be something similar

to where it would cover only a mortgage balance. Okay. And so those are, Can you get through the mortgage company

or are those separate?

And so there's three insurance companies that do that.

It would be through a separate insurance company, and you can get in touch with our friends to Zander to walk you through your options for something like that.

Have you gotten in touch with them yet, with them yet? I did, they denied me. I didn't ask about the mortgage when I was just applying for life insurance

and they denied me as well. Yeah, looking to guaranteed issue and mortgage life and those might be your best bets outside of just becoming self insured. But man, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this.

We gotta do better. So let me say this, John, and you're a beacon of light out there for folks. This is one of those situations where we want it to be different and it should be different and it's not, right? And you as somebody who's been, I mean, you know this better than any of us. It shouldn't be this way. We don't want it to be this way. And it is. And so I think setting down and spending the time being frustrated like I am right now is not gonna get you, like I said, it's not gonna get you a cup of coffee. It's just going to further spin your tires in the mud. And so I would love this for you and your wife to go through the mortgage life insurance, to go through this guaranteed issue and then sit down and say, okay, here's our reality. We're going to choose reality now and reality is, nobody's coming to save us. And so let's get some mortgage insurance that we're probably going to pay a little bit.

We're probably going to overpay afford a little bit but it's going to let us, it's a sleep tax. We're both going to be able to sleep and then we're just going to have to do things a little bit differently. We may have to be a Corolla family for several years because we're going to put a nest egg aside because this is going to come. We're all going to end up dead. We all know this and there's not a policy for you. And so you see what I'm saying? There's some empowerment with owning reality once you get on the other side of grief.

You know what I mean? Yeah, I got you. Okay. That makes sense. And yeah, I'm a 04 Tacoma driver, so I got you.

Hey, man. Hey, man. I'm an 0600, guys. So there we go. We can high five. But hey, I'm grateful for you. Thank you for your service and thank you for loving us in ways that we're clearly not reciprocating. And there's something powerful about owning reality. Here's where we are. And in George, I think we all do this in little ways and big ways. And when people call me and ask me about how to fix my marriage, what's going on with my mental health, it's often there. We want so badly something to be different than what it just is.

I want my husband to be more engaged. I want my wife to not talk down to me so much. I want my kids to fill in the blank. And it's okay to grieve that, but man, you've got to get to... It's not. It's not.

What are we going to do now? Right. And making a list, writing down the things that we can control, the things that we can do, which is we can get out of debt. We can live on a budget. We can get rid of that mortgage once and for all. Once you do that, you can sleep better at night knowing you've done everything you can do. You put it all in the dance floor going, I did everything I can to protect my family. But especially for veterans, John, I know you have a huge heart for vets out there, but we got to do better. It just doesn't...

As a country. I can't wrap my head around it. I just can't. I can't, of all of the excess spending and all of the nonsense that we throw money around in this country, I can't for the life of me. George, I pride myself on being able to see the other side of an argument. I think that's the mark of a wise person who can see your opponents, somebody you disagree with. I know I get why they're there. I get it. This is one that the sacrifices that servicemen and women make and that their families make because they go a year without mom. They go two years without mom or dad. And so they're grinding it out too and the fact that we don't have a plan to say, hey, you put it all out there for our country and for men and women that you will never meet, we got you. We've got you.

And we don't have that. We don't have that. You get a pamphlet and a high five and go get them. And I just, I just is enraging. Let me say this to the veterans out there. If I'm wrong, please put into the chat here where this, where John can go get some, some help. If there's services that I don't know about, please let us know. Hey, that's our one in the books here on the Ramsey show. We'll see you again real soon. We'll be right back. Hey, it's John Deloney, co-host of the Ramsey show. Did you know over 18 million people listen to the Ramsey show every week?

A lot of those people listen on one of our 600 plus radio stations across the country. To find a station near you, go to Ramsey slash show.

Hey, it's James, producer of the Ramsey show. This episode is over, but check the episode notes for links to products and services you heard about during this episode. Thanks for listening.