11 Habits To Completely Turn Your Life Around [SOLO ROUND] EP 1404 - Transcripts
appreciate everything that we already have, not focusing on all the things that we don't have, but appreciate the things we already have. It puts us in a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And this is huge because gratitude drowns out negativity and it brings positivity into our life. Welcome to the School of Greatness. My name is Lewis Howes, a former pro athlete turned lifestyle entrepreneur. And each week we bring you an inspiring person or message to help you discover how to unlock your inner greatness. Thanks for spending some time with me today. Now let the class begin. So today I want to go over the 11 habits that have transformed my life that I believe will help you build a happier, healthier, more loving life for yourself as well. And habit number one is to create a vision and life fulfilling goals, really creating a clear, intentional vision. And without a clear vision, you'll end up running in multiple different directions instead of staying focused on what truly matters in your life, your relationships, your health, and your business. And this can lead to your success being delayed a lot longer than it needs to be.
And so, you really want to get clear and intentional. And you can have a different vision at every different stage of your life when you're 10 years old or when you're 50 years old, but it's important to have a clear vision. Without that, you'll just be kind of wandering around. And when we're wandering, we feel aimless. And when we feel aimless, we feel like, what's the point? what's the purpose? what's the intention for me being here? And that causes a lot of stress and anxiety when we have those thoughts. So in my life when I wasn't clear on my vision I was really running around and stressed out a lot. I was like what should I be doing? I don't know. I don't feel good enough.
I don't feel worthy. I don't feel like I matter and those thoughts really don't help me improve the quality of my life. And a question someone had asked me is what was your life like when you didn't have a clear vision versus when you created one for the school of greatness. And for me, I remember different moments in my life. It was mostly in transition when one goal was finished, when one dream had ended, whether it be, you know, a sports dreams or business ended. It's kind of like the transition period where I was like, well, what do I do next? And it's that discovery phase of the transition where you get to get clear. Start doing the things that you really love. Do the hobbies, hang out with people you love to spend time with, travel. Do the things you've always wanted to do and do them to the best of your ability. When you do that, you'll start to spark ideas. Things will start to come to you naturally.
And that's what I really did in between transitioning before the school of greatness into the school of greatest. I was living my life, I was playing sports, I was being active with friends. And that process, I remember going through transition thinking, you know, I wish there was more tools when I was growing up that would help me overcome the different challenges that I would face with my life, I wish there was a school of greatness that could teach me about all these different things. And that That was the spark in the transition from one business to the next on why I created the School of Greatness. And the mission now is to serve 100 million lives weekly to help them improve the quality of their life. And we do that through a lot of the things that we do in the School of Greatness, but I'm very clear on the vision and on the mission. It's very intentional. I wake up every day thinking about it and I act based on vision. Without that vision, I would act based on, well, what am I supposed to do? I'm not sure. I don't feel good about myself. I have no direction.
And again, when we have no direction, we're just kind of wandering around in a circle and that doesn't help us move forward. It doesn't help us grow. So have a clear vision. I don't care if the vision is for one month or for 20 years. Have something you're working towards that will help increase the happiness and the quality of your life. Having number two, this is something I learned in sports early on, is to have a positive attitude when things go bad. Now, the world is filled with a lot of different negativity, drama, stress, and sometimes it's hard not to fall victim to joining in on the negativity. This is one of the reasons why my father growing up would not let us watch the news. He would not let us watch commercials that talked about a lot of harmful things or the news because he didn't want us to be susceptible to hearing about things that maybe are happening in a micro level that are blown out of proportion that seem like it's happening all over the world, but it's really only happening in a small level. He didn't want us to emphasize on all this negative energy and this negative attitude. So he eliminated those thoughts from our mind to support us in the positive. In sports as well, I would also have coaches that, you know, things wouldn't always go our way.
And I used to be so negative, I used to be so reactive when I missed a shot, when I dropped the ball, when I messed up, when something that I did was wrong or was a mistake, I used to beat myself up so much. Or when we'd lose, I was such a sore loser, I had such a bad negative attitude. And our coaches over the years would really teach me like that isn't helping you, that isn't supporting you or your teammates around you. But having a positive attitude, when things go wrong will lift your teammates up, will lift you up to help you improve for the next play in the next moment. It's really all about having that positive attitude. Because the negative doesn't usually serve us for anything ever. There are times, absolutely, to speak up and be a stand for when bad things are happening to you or happening to other people or around you. But that's not what I'm talking about. I'm not talking about that specific moment in time. I'm talking about spending hours of your day thinking about yourself negatively and thinking about the world negatively around you, just ruminating on how negative everything is. that prevents you from showing up as the best version of yourself. And I believe you're robbing yourself and your loved ones in the world of your gifts and who you truly are when you sit in that negative state.
So when I began to shift into having a positive attitude, it really helped me in every area of my life. And negative things or things that I don't like happen around me all the time, but it's a practice. Even today, and when I'm hit with these adversities or these obstacles, I try to ask myself, how could it possibly serve me in the future? Or if it's worth putting so much energy into it around a negative attitude, is it really worth it? Is it helping me in my health? Is it helping me in my joy and my love for others and my love for myself by holding onto this negative energy? It's usually not worth the energy. So why do we do it so frequently? You know, there's this book called, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff, because it's all small stuff. You know, obviously there's adversity and there's challenges, but when you can have the attitude around it, it really shifts your life and the people around you. So you've got to do the work to develop that awareness, to realize that for yourself. This is an easy, this took me a long time, and having a positive attitude is, in my opinion, one of the most important things to manifesting, to attracting, to feeling better about yourself.
But one thing that I've learned from the different guests and the experts on the show in the last few years, is that what's most important is getting to the root of what's causing you the stress, the pain, the anxiety, the negative feelings that you're having. Because positive affirmations can only get you so far if you're not also doing the deep work on what's really going on, what's underneath the trigger, the anxiety, the fear. Dr. Caroline Leaf has been on the show a couple of times. I really love her message and her expertise. And she said, it's like putting a bandaid on a bullet wound when you're just trying to have a positive affirmation without actually going to the root cause of what that trigger and negativity is. But if you're able to get to the roots of some of the things causing you so much pain and suffering, and the negative attitude that you have, and then begin working to stay positive and having an abundance mindset, that's when you can really start to create real change and start to see and notice the feelings of positivity, notice the feelings of happiness flood into your heart, into your body, into your soul. And that's what this is all about. So habit number three is an important one. It's all about giving back, volunteering your time, helping others, mentoring, coaching, being of service in any way possible that you can. And you might've heard me share this before, but if you're going to be addicted to anything in life, be addicted to service. I believe it's not addicted in the negative sense, but if you're going to be committed to doing something living in intentional practice, be intentional on the act of serving other people in whatever way that works for you, whatever you have to do, do that for you. It's been my mission since the beginning of this show and every single day I aim to show up and give back to you, to people watching, to people listening, my friends and family, my team members and anyone possible that I can and it's very important for me and it also brings me a lot of joy when I can know that something I did caused a positive impact on someone else's life, whether it be a piece of content, someone I interviewed, something they said, something I said, a way we put it out there that connected with people, that brings me so much joy, it brings me so much happiness knowing that my life has had meaning on one person's life and it continues to feed and fuel my fulfillment and my soul every day and that's why I continue to be committed to habit number one, which is the vision and staying true to that vision and in a New York Times article by Tara Parker Pope, she wrote that several studies suggest that supporting others helps buffer our bodies against the detrimental effects of stress and a five-year study of 846 people in Detroit found that stressful life events appeared to take a greater toll on people who were less helpful to others while helping others seem to erase the detrimental physical effects of stressful experiences.
Now for me, that is crazy to think that those who were more self-centered, who weren't focusing outward and trying to help other people, those that were only thinking about themselves not helping others, had more physical pain and ailments based on the stressful environment, whereas those who were focusing out, that started to go away and for me, that says something about how service is truly important in our lives, habit number four is a big one, something I do all the time is to express gratitude and appreciation. This may seem like so basic, this may seem like the dumbest thing because it's so simple, but it will transform and change your life. And when we appreciate everything that we already have, not focusing on all the things that we don't have, but appreciate the things we already have, it puts us in a mindset of abundance rather than scarcity. And this is huge, because gratitude drowns out negativity and it brings positivity into our lives. It puts us into perspective in the moment of what is meaningful, what we have created, what we have, the people in our life right now. And we can channel that positive energy into everything we're doing, and we can shift that positive energy into our vision and our mission. And I can't speak for everyone, but gratitude has been life changing for me. It's something again that I do every day. It's non-negotiable when I wake up. It's on my voicemail and someone calls me. I say, tell me what you're grateful for and I'll get back to you. In our team meetings, we talked about it.
When we started meeting, what are you grateful for today? It's just something when I go to bed at night, I express three things I'm grateful for. All these things help me continue to stay in the present moment, not focused on the past of what I did or how mistakes I made, not worry about the future but really be present. And that's the key to being happy is focusing on what you have right now and the people in your life. And many other psychologists that I've interviewed on this show tell me that gratitude is proven to create a happier life. This isn't just some fluffy woo woo personal development thing. This is now science. It's been researched. It's been studied and proven that gratitude decreases depression, increases happiness in people's lives. So don't let gratitude be something you just do from time to time or once in a while or on a holiday or Thanksgiving. You need to find time and place to do it every single day. The more you do it, the more frequently you do it, the happier, healthier, more fulfilled you will be.
And those put your life in perspective to get you out of the things you don't have and focus on things you do have. The simplest way to do that is just to add gratitude to the start of something you're already doing. We talked about this. What will I do, we do it before team meetings. You could do it while you're making coffee. You could do it right before you eat every meal. You could do it when you wake up, when you go to bed, whatever you're about to start something, have a moment. It could be five seconds. I'm grateful for this moment. I'm grateful for this thing. I'm grateful. I have this.
be intentional on that. Spend a few minutes and use that time wisely to express gratitude. For me, again, I wake every morning, I express the things that I'm grateful for, I really just wake up and say thank you. Thank you for another day, thank you for my health, thank you for the people in my life, thank you for the challenging times that have helped me grow and improve myself, I try to say thank you for it all, and that really supports me in the day. And you'll be able to love deeper. create more light for other people and you'll appreciate the little things around you more than ever. I'm telling you a ritual of gratitude will change your life. It's again, it seems so basic. It might seem like so, you know, this is not some crazy life hack or some thing in some app or something that's going to switch something on your brain. This is just going back to the basics to help you improve your happiness habit. Number five is to create healthy relationships with boundaries. I didn't know what a boundary was until really a few years ago in certain areas of my life and personal boundaries are essential in healthy relationships because they provide the foundation for your expectations, behavior, and how you communicate with others.
But sometimes setting the limits can be challenging and difficult, especially if you want everyone to be happy around you. Now raise your hands. If you are a recovering people pleaser like me and you want everyone to like you, you want everyone to be happy around you, you want anyone to ever be mad at you for anything. That's been me pretty much my entire life up until recently when I learned how to create healthy boundaries and know that I'm going to disappoint people. But the most important person that I'm not going to disappoint is myself. And I was always abandoning myself to try to please others and I was hurting myself in the process and you should never hurt yourself. You obviously don't want to hurt others, but you should never hurt yourself. And we often react differently when we don't get what we want or when what it is happening around us isn't what we expected when that expectation kind of hangover happens to us. Results and frustration are hurt feelings. I know. I know the feeling. You expect someone to say something or do something and don't do it, you get let down and it hurts.
That's why communication is so important. And whether it's an intimate relationship, a family member, a business relationship, when the boundaries we have set are not met, we feel violated or for myself, I felt abused, taken advantage of and all these different things and that doesn't feel good. I understand those feelings, they don't feel good. So when you create a standard, create a boundary, you've got to communicate and talk about your expectations in that communication process. Sometimes this can be extremely challenging and difficult conversations, especially if you've never done in the past. And oftentimes boundaries are not discussed and that can cause bitterness and resentment. And if you take the proactive approach by discussing boundaries with your partner, you can avoid a lot of that pain and stress and disaster. So I highly encourage you to be willing to be uncomfortable in those boundary conversations. And I loved this moment that I had when I interviewed Nedra Tawab and she said, she's like the boundary expert and she said, when we think about boundaries we think about them as something with someone else. But a boundary could be a morning routine, a boundary could be having some quiet time after lunch. It's not just all these things that we need other people to do, it's also what we need to do with ourselves. And I think it's so important for us to reflect on what are the boundaries we're keeping with ourselves.
about significant others, or family or friends? What are the boundaries of integrity you're keeping with yourself? So think about that for yourself and the boundaries you want to set in the specific relationships in your life and really, are any of them being crossed already? What are the places in your life where you feel like boundaries are to being crossed? Make a list, write these down. And are you not respecting the boundaries yourself? Are you crossing boundaries that you shouldn't be crossing, with someone else in your life? It's a difficult thing to do, especially if you've never really thought about them. But when I began setting boundaries in my life, as well as started to hear about the importance of them from different therapists and psychologists that we've interviewed on the show, it made a huge difference in my emotional, mental, physical well-being as well. Because really, when you think about boundaries, you know, when an emotional, mental, spiritual boundary feels crossed, you almost feel it in your body. I know I did. I would feel tightness, tension.
I would have like eczema flare-ups when a boundary was crossed, and I didn't know how to handle it. And you feel the boundary being crossed emotionally, and it physically manifests. So this will continue to help you be happier and physically healthier when you create boundaries. Which leads me into habit number six, which is to take care of your physical health, workout, eat clean, physical and mental health. The emotional and mental stress can really lean into the physical damage if we don't have a clean, healthy relationship with the mental and emotional side of ourselves, creating boundaries and all that other stuff. But taking care of your body consistently, moving your body, exercising is so important for your overall physical and mental health. We've had so many different experts come on and talk about the research and the science of how physical movement increases happiness, increases dopamine, makes you feel more confident in all these things. Being stagnant for two weeks and not moving your body will make you feel less and less confident. Make you feel weak. And all those different feelings will create stress and anxiety in your life. When you don't exercise, you're not giving your body the clarity it needs. It's not cleansing itself.
It's not moving, and you've got to move in order to get you closer towards your desired goals as well. So you got to think about these things. What does your body need? It's something that I've started talking about more and more as I've started to integrate this more and more in my life. And I started taking boxing lessons a couple times a week, six months ago, and it's transformed my physical and mental health. You might have to reassess, like, are the physical activities I'm doing right now supporting me? Or do I need to mix it up? Do I need to try something new? Do I need a new challenge? That's what I did with boxing. I've been able to lift and run and play sports my whole life, but I felt like I needed something to shift me physically, and boxing was something I'd never done, something that was challenging. It's mental.
It's emotional and physical, and it's one of the hardest workouts I've ever done. So I go early in the morning, and I do that because that's been huge for me because it means I can take care of the most important and often the hardest things first, which set up the rest of my day for success. And when I finish a workout early in the morning, and I realize, wow, there's still a lot of people that are asleep who haven't gotten up, who haven't done anything, and I'm finishing one of the hardest things of the day for me. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Getting to know yourself can be a lifelong process, especially because we're always growing and changing. And therapy is all about deepening your self-awareness and your understanding. Because sometimes we don't know what we want or why we react the way we do until we talk through things. And BetterHelp connects you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you are. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, and it's designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Therapy is so important, and it's been a game changer for me, and I think it'll be a big game changer for you as well.
Even if you're at a really solid spot mentally, it's good practice to have therapy as part of your routine. That way you are prepared when obstacles do show up. And I always feel so much more ready for the things life throws my way while I'm consistent with my personal sessions. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash Lewis today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Lewis. That brings me joy. That makes me a better human. That makes me feel more confident. It makes me feel happier. That detox is things that I need to let go of. When I do that, I feel like, wow, what's next?
What is there that I need to do? I can do anything. Bring it to me. I will take on the world today. And when you start the day with that momentum, I really support you with your overall happiness. Now, if you're not often physically active, don't overwhelm yourself and say, I'm going to do two hours a day of activity and I'm going to go crazy here and I'm going to sign up for all these classes because you'll burn out quick or you'll hurt yourself. You could start as small as just going for a 10, 20 minute walk around the block five days a week and really get started. Just get yourself moving on the process of consistency. And even if you're making small progress, that progress is signaling your brain of the changes that you are wanting to make. And again, five, 10, 20 minutes a day will eventually be 30 and 60 minutes a day and it'll continue to build and compound over time. So don't overwhelm yourself by thinking you have to go extremely crazy right off the bat and I'm going to eat perfect seven days a week. I'm going to train like a machine and I'm going to get 12 hours of sleep and all these things.
You're probably not going to be able to sustain that within two weeks, but getting started and being consistent is the key. So anything is better than nothing when it comes to moving your body. And the next thing is really to focus on your diet. I know when I'm not eating clean consistently, I kind of take the 80-20 approach for nutrition and food. 80% of the time I try to eat as clean and healthy and organic as possible. 20% of the time I'm traveling the weekends. I have more sugar and desserts and things that I know aren't the best for fuel from my body. But they taste good and I give myself that balance. And you can work out all you want, but you can't outwork your mouth. That's for sure. You cannot outwork your mouth. You can train for an hour and then if you're having all this cakes and cookies, it's not going to do anything for you.
You're actually not doing any favors for yourself. You might be maintaining, but you're not really improving. And our guests all the time talk about eating things like, I've asked so many different scientists, doctors, and nutritionists about the top food you should be eating. And they all consistently say blueberries, foods that are high, you know, mega three fatty acids like salmon and walnuts and avocado oil, dark chocolate, the list goes on and on from there, leafy greens, all that stuff. But eating more of those things, adding more of those things into your body will support you. If you want to put in so much effort in your workout routine and then just go have, you know, alcohol and sugar and pizza every night, that's not going to really support you grow. You can have cheat meals in moderation or you can just call it balanced meals in moderation if you don't want to call it cheat meals. I do the balanced 80-20 kind of percent rule. And having a clean diet, but having a clean diet will not only serve you physically in your health, but also in your mental health because we've talked about so many different experts that have come on and shared that the foods that actually increase your mental health and affect your mood. We've had a lot of these different doctors and nutritionists come on and talk about that. And when you're eating poorly, it can increase the feelings of depression, anxiety and stress. And I believe we're starting to really understand more about how much our diet really affects us, how much food really can either hurt us or heal us.
So for your future self, it's best if you focus not only on putting your body through the workouts, but also giving your body the cleanest foods possible to eat. Which brings me to habit number seven, the power of breathing. This is something that I really started to practice in sports, but didn't start to really learn how to, I wouldn't say I call myself a master at this, but it really didn't start to learn how to master breathing until five years ago when I went to India to study for two weeks meditation and then becoming a meditation instructor. And then from there meeting with Wim Hof and doing the Wim Hof breathing techniques. Then interviewing James Nestor, talking about breathing. Andrew Huberman, the famous neuroscientist from Stanford who talks about breathing in the brain and how it connects to the brain and the body connection. And really the deeper that I've gone down this rabbit hole of learning about the mastery of breathing and applying it to myself, I've noticed incredible results. And it's like I'm noticing it quicker and quicker. So it's been really helping me improve my peace, improve my mental health, improve my mood just with breathing. And that is a powerful tool. You don't need anything. You don't need to buy anything.
You don't need to eat anything. You don't need to do anything different. In a few moments you can change the way you feel through your breath. And breathing is the number one way to give your mind a reset and to get you back into a balanced, peaceful state. When you're nervous, stressed out, feeling overwhelmed, or catching yourself overthinking something or overanalyzing, breathing exercises can help you get back to calm and control. And that's what this is all about. The power of breath is that it lets you steer your energy. It lets you get back on to habit number one, your vision as opposed to being distracted, stressed, and overwhelmed. And I did this as an athlete. I would do this going up for big moments in a game in football. Breathe slowly. I've had different sports psychologists come on and talk about how in practice, you want to actually get yourself up and practice like it's a game.
And when you're in a game time situation, you want to slow down because you have so much adrenaline. You want to calm and slow down. So I do that as an athlete. Before I get on stage, right before I really tried to think about how I slow it down because I know when the lights turn on, when the music gets on, I'm going to be hyped. I'm going to be pumped. But how do I slow down so I can communicate my message effectively as opposed to being all anxious and excited about it? So I want to share three steps to properly help yourself incorporate breathing into your day to day. Number one is to bring awareness to your breath. So really just think about it and bring awareness. And when we're breathing all the time, all day long we're breathing, but we're rarely paying attention to it. We hardly really think about it. But when we think about it, by taking a moment to bring your awareness to your breath, just as it is, you can get out of your head and into the present moment.
So when you're focused on breathing, and that's all you focus on, see how it feels in your body, see how it feels in your mind, in your heart, and see how it's naturally calming your heart rate, you can actually feel your heart rate go down, and you put your attention on that activity for 60 segments. You can eliminate other distractions by putting attention on that, and get back into a rhythm that will help you in that moment. This habit is great for when you catch yourself over analyzing things, stressed, anxious, worried, uncertain about the future. Just turn your focus back to your breath and temporarily let go of any other stress. The second part is to focus on and lengthen your exhale. This is something I learned in India when I went there five years ago. They take inhales through the nose and whatever the time amount through the nose, they teach you to practice twice as long exhale out of the nose. So if you're taking an inhale for two counts in the nose, four counts out of the nose. And by repeating that process it'll calm your heart rate, it'll calm your mind and get you back into a peaceful state. You can just repeat that process over and over again. Or it could be four inhale, eight out, three inhale, six out. The exhale is just as important if not more important than your inhale.
So drawing out your exhale will slow your heart rate down and again bring you into a calmer state of mind. And number three is to use a deliberate sigh. So Dr. Andrew Huberman who's a neuroscientist from Stanford who's been on the show a couple of times showed me an exercise that involves breathing with a double intake and an extended exhale. So still the same extended exhale but a double intake. And by doing this exercise for just two or three cycles can really help you calm down and it also expands the oxygen level in your body as well. And I urge you to try it a few times during the day when you feel overwhelmed. I've been doing this a lot since he taught me. It's simply you breathe through the nose with a double inhale like this. So a double inhale and twice in long exhale that way. By doing that a few times it really opens up the oxygen level, calm you at the same time. So practice that a couple times throughout the day. How about number eight?
This is huge. Again this is no secret. This is no crazy hack. It's just sleep more. Sleep more. Recover. Your body is going through so much every single day especially with in the last 20 years with all the data and information we are consuming from our smartphones from computers. We're getting so much data points every day. The body needs more rest. We're working harder. We're trying to be more productive. We're trying to squeeze the juice out of life more.
Whether it's play, work, relationships. We're squeezing more juice out of life and we need proper sleep to recover. We're staying up till 2 or 3 a.m. and feeling exhausted from the day and anxious about tomorrow. Then we're gonna be in a sleep deficit and we need to get back on track with our sleep. So here's a few ways to start getting better sleep. Number one, stick to a sleep schedule as often as you can. Now this can be hard if you're traveling I get it but as often as you can try to go to bed at the same time. Proper sleep recovers and refreshes your mind. So the next day can be stress-free but it's important to say okay I'm gonna be in bed by 10 every night or 11 every night or whatever that time is for you. So you have a schedule so you know you're to get these certain amount of hours you need. Number two, pay attention to your diet that day.
Try not to have big heavy meals before sleeping and also try to limit your caffeine intake after I would say 10 a.m. to noon. You don't really want to have caffeine after that. The research has shown it's gonna make you harder for you to go to sleep at night. So number three is creating a peaceful environment for your sleep. It's crucial. My friend Sean Stevenson talks about this in his book Sleep Smarter that you want to create a sleep sanctuary. You want to make sure that your bedroom where you sleep is a sanctuary for you to shut off and go to sleep. And that can be hard for some of us as we work from home, we sleep at home, we work, we've got a lot of activities happening in the same place. It's hard to really shut it off when you're used to picking up your phone in the morning or being on your phone at night watching TV in bed or doing all these other things in your sleeping space. But you want to create a sleep sanctuary. You want to create a routine that helps you separate yourself from the other areas of your life like taking a bath.
It'll help you rest and recover better. So what is the routine? What is the sanctuary that you're going to create the environment of peaceful restful sleep? It's one of the most important things you can do. And as an athlete I used to sleep a ton. I knew the importance of sleep because your body would be so sore. We would take naps, we would sleep as much as we could. I used to sleep in as long as I could to get that quality sleep. As a business leader when I'm traveling, I know now I'm not 21 anymore. I know the importance of my sleep. Even if I get two or three hours of less sleep than I'm used to, it will affect me. I'll need more caffeine.
There'll be other things you'll need to supplement. So it's important to know that if you are living a high performance life, if you are trying to squeeze the juice out of life, if that's the season of life you're in right now, you've got to make sleep a huge priority for yourself. So you have the energy, the focus, and the clarity to move towards your vision. Habit number nine. Who? This is a big one. It's a big one because a lot of people don't like to do this, is to take responsibility for yourself, for your actions, and keep yourself accountable. Now it's easy to be the victim. It's easy to say make excuses for yourself and say, well I didn't want to do this, I wasn't feeling this, or this thing happened, or this circumstance happened. But you cannot negotiate your dreams and your goals. You cannot negotiate with your goals through circumstances or excuses. That will make you unhappy.
It's up to you to take responsibility for your life. You have to decide today that you're going to get in shape, that you're going to start that side hustle of that business, if you're going to take on a new hobby. Whatever it may be for you, you've got to decide. And only you can decide to take that first step and then, most importantly, be consistent on those steps day after day, week after week, year after year. But the next step that matters just as much is being held accountable for the goals in front of you. That is important. The accountability is so key. And you need to create a habit of checking in with someone on a daily or weekly basis that can hold you accountable and call you out if you're falling short. This is why we have our Greatness Coaching Program that high performance leaders in our community are members of. They have joined. They have monthly accountability. They've got partners.
They've got myself. They've got a coach, all these different things to help people stay accountable. An accountability partner could be a friend for you, could be a family member, could be a co-worker, could be a coach that you hire, could just be someone you pay as an accountability person to check on you daily. Whatever it is for you, accountability is key and the effects of accountability are strongest when you and your partner have similar goals so you can grow together with them. It's It's huge when you guys have that common goal. Just having one accountability partner can do wonders for you. Just one person to hold you accountable, to give you checks and balances. But you can also consider surrounding yourself with a team, a community of people who inspire you and hold you accountable. I hire lots of coaches. Personally, I try to find the expert in every area of my life, hire them to hold me accountable for what is important to me. Only what is important to me. I have them do.
You know, if it's not important, and it's not part of your vision, it's not part of your overall life plan, then you don't have to do it. But for me, what's important I hire people. I have accountability in those areas of my life. Fitness, relationships, spirituality, business, mental health, financial health. I mean, I hire people in every category and I understand you may be at a point right now where you could do that, you can afford that but find friends, find mentors, find people that can hold each other accountable. And if you want to improve your fitness, one of the best things you can do is surround yourself with fitness minded people. So if you're hanging out with people that are lazy and on the couch and aren't working out ever, then start spending more quality time with people that are getting up at 6 AM and doing joint runs together. There's run groups in every city around the world. There's different things you can do to support you. So think about the accountability in your life. What's important to improve right now. Find those people to support you and move forward.
Tip number 10, learn to cope with tragedy and let go of regret, anger, and resentment. Holding onto our past trauma is one of the most painful things we can do for ourselves. I am speaking for myself here that I held on the trauma and resentment and anger and frustration for 25 years, if not more, in different parts of my life. And that is a recipe for suffering, reaction, stress, painful moments, all these different things. So, you know, the therapist who's been on who reminded me of this guy, Winch, talks about, you know, the ruminating of our past wounds and holding onto these past wounds and how to heal the broken heart. We've got that episode that you can dive in more and so many different therapists have come on and talked about this. But I try to really look for the positives and what I can learn from these events and feelings and channel those feelings into growth as a person and really how can I serve others who might be going through something similar in that situation. I remember hearing a story from Tony Robbins, he said, you know, when I was a kid, my mom used to beat me, she used to pour soap down my mouth because she thought I was lying. She used to do all these things that caused a lot of pain and trauma for me, but I loved my mother because she gave me the capacity, the expanded heart to want to help other people rid themselves from their suffering. So he used the painful moment not as resentment to hold onto, you know, being angry at his mom but to say, you know, I love my mom for this. You know, she didn't know any better in these times. She was doing her best.
She was also loving in other ways. But those moments, I'm not going to hold onto them and suffer. I'm going to use them to end suffering for those around me. I think that's really powerful. So really think about how you can let go of the emotional traumas. This might take some work for a lot of people. For me, it took a long time to really learn how to do that. It's one of the reasons why I started School of Gradiness because I wanted to interview these experts to teach me. But it's created so much freedom and peace in my life and happiness in the process. And habit number 11 is to eliminate things that don't make you happy and focus on what does make you happy. So I asked Matthew McConaughey this and when I interviewed him, I said, you know, what are five things that we should be eliminating in our life? And he mentioned this list of these five things.
Number one, we should be eliminating bad people. Eliminate people that don't promote your growth and that don't bring you joy. We often cling onto these toxic relationships, our people, because they validate us in the short term, but they're very harmful in the long term. So eliminate those people or at least distance yourself. You know, distance yourself and start spending more quality time with people that bring you joy. Number two to eliminate is bad places. Stop going to places that encourage unhealthy lifestyle behaviors like bars or fast food restaurants, etc. Again, don't go to these places if you know you don't feel good when you're there or afterwards. And if a certain place continually makes you feel bad, do whatever you can to eliminate or distance yourself or go there less. Our environment can really impact our mood in a big way. It's hard to to not notice that. So create those environments for yourself that are healthier.
Number three, you got to eliminate the comparison to others. Stop comparing yourself to others and eliminate jealousy because what is it the quote comparison is the thief of joy. I think Einstein said that you know when we when we're constantly and comparing yourself to yourself of where you think you should be or whatever it's like always in comparison mode is not going to do anything good for your happiness. Number four, overthinking your failures. Instead of dissecting all your problems, start dissecting all your success. All the things you've done to overcome the challenges and ask yourself how can I replicate my successes rather than how can I stop my failures. And number five to eliminate is instant gratification. This is a big one. Fight the cravings for instant pleasure and results and be okay with delayed gratification. Knowing that you're going to be doing the work consistently and your your future self is going to be grateful for your current self and the consistent effort you're putting in. You're gonna reap way bigger rewards in the future if you can delay that gratification. So there you have it.
These are the 11 healthy happy habits to increase the overall joy of your life and set you up for a better life. If you can commit to implementing these in small ways over the next couple of months, I'd be curious about what would happen in your life. What do you think you could create in transforming your life just by implementing a few of these things consistently for a couple months? Leave a comment below of one or two that you enjoy the most or one or two that you know you need to improve on in your life. Which one impacted you? Which one, oh that resonated? I've got to do that more. Or this one has been working wonders for me for years. Leave a comment below on YouTube and let me know. I'd love to hear your thoughts on that. Again, leave your comment below. Subscribe to this podcast over on YouTube or the audio on Apple podcast.
Thanks so much for being here. I hope today's episode inspired you on your journey towards greatness. Make sure to check out the show notes in the description for a rundown of today's show with all the important links. And if you want weekly exclusive bonus episodes with me as well as ad-free listening experience, make sure to subscribe to our Greatness Plus channel on Apple podcast. If you enjoyed this, please share it with a friend over on social media or text a friend. Leave us a review over on Apple podcast and let me know what you learned over on our social media channels at Lewis House. I really love hearing the feedback from you and it helps us continue to make the show better. And if you want more inspiration from our world-class guests and content to learn how to improve the quality of your life, then make sure to sign up for the Greatness newsletter and get it delivered right to your inbox over at greatness.com slash newsletter. And if no one has told you today, I want to remind you that you are loved, you are worthy, and you matter. And now it's time to go out there and do something great.